Monday, May 28, 2007

Will The Mighty Fall

French Open Predictions 2007
So psyched for a messy, red mud-filled Roland Garros. Vive La Slam. Most likely the field of 128 men and 128 women comes down to 4. Those 4 are Rafael Nadal, Roger Fed, Justine Henin (not Hardenne!) and some surprise woman. Let's cut to the chase. The sooner I get this over with, the sooner mistakes can be made. I am being conservative and traditional with these pics. For credibility's sake.

1st Quarter: Seeds: #1 Fed, #7 Ivan Ljubicic, #9 Tommy Robredo, #17 Juan Carlos, #22 Hot Marat
Fed should do well. Ljubicic doesn't do it for me anymore. Interesting 3rd Round between Robredo and Safin. I will go with Safin to then get to the quarters.
Q: Federer over Safin
2nd Quarter: Seeds
: #4 Nikolay Davydenko, #5 Fernando Gonzalez, #15 David Nalbandian, #19 Guillermo Canas, Unseeded Compatriot: Gael Monfils
Pretty Open Quarter. I guess recent drug addict Canas is the one to beat. Davydenko and Nalbandian are so interchangeable to me. I like Monfils quite a bit, mostly for his name. The winner of the fourth round Canas/Gonzalez is in the quarters. Can Canas do it and then beat Fed in the semis??? I feel the draw will be kinder to Fed at that point, but it is looking hard for old Roger.
Q: Gonzalez over Davydenko
3rd Quarter: Seeds
: #3 Roddick, #6 Djokovic, #12 David Ferrer, #16 Baghy, and unseeded Ginepri!
Djokovic should rule from the top down. Let's root for a hellluva fun 4th round match of Roddick/Bagdahtis.
Q:Djokovic over Bagh
4th Quarter: Seeds
: #2 Nadal, #8 Blake, #14 Hewitt, Past Winners #23 Moya and unseeded Guadio
Nadal will have Lleyton in the 4th round, who had him on the ropes this month. Sadly Rafa will make it through. I am going to go with Gaudio to be the not so surprising unseed. Sorry, Jimmy Blake.
Q: Nadal over Gaudio

Semis: I don't entirely agree with the Fed slump, but I don't trust him on clay. I am torn
Federer over Gonzalez. I would love Djokovic to take out Nadal. But he won't.
Finals: Federer v. Nadal
Winner: Nadal. Was this too by the book?
I full reserve the right to consider myself right if anyone mentioned here does well.

1st Quarter: Seeds: #1 Henin, #8 Serena, #10 Dinara, #16 Na Li
Let's call the tourney right here. If Serena can get past Dinara, which will be tough; Dinara will put up a fight! But the match of the tournament will be Angry, Loud and Proud Serena against annoying antics playing Justine. I feel Serena hates Sharapova a lot which is why she came out to destroy her in Melbourne. But for some reason Serena doesn't hate Justine enough and this will be too close!
Q: Serena over Justine
2nd Quarter: Seeds
: #4 Jankovic, #6 Vaidisova, #11 Nadia, #13 Dementieva, #26 Venus, and a slew of dangerous 2nd tiers!
A very fun quarter. I think I am rooting for Jankovic to win it all. I am pulling for her, unless Amelie can put something together, which is doubtful. I would imagine Jankovic can cruise but she may buckle under the pressure. Which would annoy me a lot.
Q: Jankovic over Petrova
3rd Quarter: Seeds
: #3 Kutzy, #7 Ivanovic, #12 Hot Hantuchova, #15 Isreali Peer, #24 Medina-Garriques, and MYSKINA! Did we know she still played?
I have 0 faith in Kutzy to really do anything. I think she is so streaky and it is baffling that she is #3 in the world. This Medina girl seems dangerous.
Q: Ivanovic over Kutzy
4th Quarter: Seeds
: #2 Sharapova, #5 Maurez, #9 Anna Chakvetadze, #14 Patty Schnyder, #22 Alona Bondarenko
Probably the most baffling quarter. Sharapova can't play on clay and Mauresmo can't play in Paris. Some of these other names? No idea.
Q: Bondarenko over Mauresmo
Semis: Serena over Jankovic; Ivanovic over Bondarenko
Finals: Serena over Ana

Wherever the chips may fall.

Friday, May 25, 2007

Alicia snubs Elisabeth

We love Alicia Silverstone, pretty much only because of her role as Cher in the 90's classic movie Clueless. We love her even though her career has pretty much sucked since.

With that said, the petty snub Alicia threw the View's Elisabeth Hasselbeck the other day was fairly ridiculous. I've never really understood why people who disagree on politics can't still be civil to each other and afford each other common courtesies.

I hate to have to say this, but grow up Alicia.

Tuesday, May 22, 2007

Mermaid Problems

I won't go through the whole history of The Little Mermaid, because frankly it isn't terribly interesting, but I am going to assume everyone out there, did at least know that it was, in fact, a book first. Hans Christian Andersen, holla! This was millions of years before Disney created that slut Ariel, who turned into quite the cashcow for them. But hey, she was kinda hot. Still is. But when you think about it, she is also a horribly role models for young girls.

Anyway, in Copenhagen, home of fableist Hans Christian (see above) there is a statue of the Little Mermaid. It is tiny, I've actually seen it, and entirely not worth it. But this statue has been through some serious s&*!

Here's what I thought you should know:
This statue has been vandalised several times, but has each time been restored. On 24 April 1964, the statue's head was sawn off and stolen by politically oriented artists of the situationist movement, amongst them Jørgen Nash. The head was never recovered and a new head was produced and placed on the statue. On 22 July 1984, her right arm was sawn off. The arm was returned 2 days later by two embarrassed young vandals. In 1990 another attempt was made to cut her head off, which resulted in an 18 cm deep cut in the neck. On 6 January 1998, she lost her head for the second time, the culprits were never found, but the head was returned anonymously to a nearby TV station, and on 4 February the head was back on.
Red paint has been thrown on her several times, including one episode in 1961 where her hair was painted red and a bra was painted on her. On 11 September 2003, the statue was blasted off its rock, possibly with dynamite. The Little Mermaid was also draped in a burka as a statement about Turkey joining the European Union. On March 8, 2006, a dildo was attached to the statue's hand, green paint was dumped over it, and the words March 8 were written on it. It is suspected that this vandalism has something to with International Women's Day (which is on March 8) and that it was committed by anti-feminists. On March 3, 2007, the statue was again covered with pink paint. Recently, Copenhagen officials have announced that the statue may be moved further out in the harbour, as to avoid vandalism and tourists climbing onto it. In May 2007, the statue was covered with paint by vandals. On May 20, 2007, it was found draped in a Muslim dress and head scarf.
Thanks Wikipedia. Roland Garros (French Open) picks imminently!

Wednesday, May 16, 2007

Bank of America's Giant Urinal

Over the past 12+ months I've been watching the construction of the Bank of America Tower (also known as One Bryant Park) from my office window. The building, located on the corner of 42nd Street and 6th Avenue in Midtown Manhattan, is set to be completed sometime in 2008. Although the construction of the tower is fairly far along -- the structure currently reaches over 50-floors -- some things, like the enclosure of the upper floors, have not been completed yet.

This didn't bother me until about a week ago when, on a sunny afternoon, I looked out my office window and saw a construction worker relieving himself on a steel beam in the corner of the building.

Yep, he took a piss.

I didn't see the actual stream of urine, and I didn't see his, um, tool (although his welding iron was nearby), but I've pissed enough in my life to know what it looks like when a man does it. He was standing like he was taking a piss, his hands were in the pissing position and when he was done, I could see him do the post-piss shake before zipping up and walking back to work.

I was a little surprised with this act of semi-public urination. But since it was late in the afternoon and the work site was fairly empty, I figured why should he look for the nearest porta-potty when there are so many exposed steel beam facing crowded office buildings that he could whip it out and do his business on?

Fast forward to 1:15p.m. today. I'm down the hall in a colleague's office, which happens to face the same direction as mine, chatting about some ridiculous document or memo or whatever, when I see a man approach a steel beam on one of the upper exposed floors, open his pants and do his business. It was the same deal (but different guy) -- he had the piss stance going, his hands were in the pissing position, pants were open, etc. -- as last week.

The two main differences between the pissing incidents were (1) the work site was filled with workers today and (2) this guy nearly lost his pants post-shake when he went to zip up. Yep . . . we got to see some ass crack today.

What I've learned from this is that no one on a construction site uses the porta-potties to take a piss. That's what steel beams are for. So when you are walking past a construction site on a sunny day and feel a few drops of moisture hit you from above, don't think it's from the air conditioning.

And to the BoA employees moving in next year . . . your territory has already been marked.

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Sunday, May 13, 2007

let's play ball

Don't even bother trying to contain your excitement. You shouldn't. FRIDAY NIGHT LIGHTS has been renewed!!! The renewal had seemed probable - at best - for some time, given its critical acclaim and maybe even recent Peabody award, but I was more than skeptical. I just don't trust TV execs. But smart move here. Although I don't watch any other TV drama, I must concur with FNL's praise as being the best drama on TV. It has to be, right?

So here's what we need to get done in the next season. With the renewal, I think it is safe to assume that Coach Taylor will be staying at Dylan and not taking the college job.
1. The high school juniors (Julie, Matt, and Landry) are fine.
2. The seniors! Troubled waters with high school shows. No one can really get away with pulling a 90210 and letting the gang hang out in high school forever. Nor can everyone go to the same college. Surprisingly, most of the seniors have been written in a way where their hanging around wouldn't feel entirely forced.
2a. Jason Street: He doesn't come into play as our crippled heartthrob is now a coach, and not going to college. Keep him with the funky tattoo girl. The Leila relationship came to a fitting and believable end. (See below.) If he would like to marry me, that would be ok.
2b. "The Smash": Entirely annoying character, but he was essential to the show. Given what we were led to believe were some high college prospects, I assume he will have to go to a great college somewhere, and thus, leave the show. They can retire his number, but we don't need any more of The Smash. His mom was fun. Waverly was actually more annoying than he was. She must go away forever.
2c. Tim Riggins: On the fence with him. I imagine they will come up with something kinda lame to keep him around. If they do, Brooke Langton as the hot older neighbor must leave. That was a horrible plot device, and her kid was the most annoying child ever.
2d. Tyra: Given her near rape at the end, I don't think they are going to so quickly write her off the show. Besides, this character is not jetting off somewhere anytime soon. She can stay, as her friendship with Julie would make this plausible. The only way to realistically keep Riggins on the show is through Tyra.
2e. Leila Garrity. Oh Leila Garrity, can I just give this actress and the writers props for turning the most annoying character on the show to someone so endearing and likable. I am going to believe they planned this transformation from day one. Given her dad, she will be around. But keep her away from Jason. These two need a break.
3. The team cannot win another title. They are losing all their players and they really did not refer to any up and comers. This is a building year for the Panthers.
4. Connie Britton. The stand-out for an Emmy nom. Possibly only because the lead actress in a drama category is pretty weak. But in the 2nd half of the season, she totally rocked.

Enough, Yay, Friday Night Lights!

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Sunday, May 06, 2007

And The Winner Is.....The Sport of Tennis!

In an exhibition match, Roger Fed and Rafa Nadal played each other on a half grass/half clay court. Simply building the court cost a whopping $1.63 million. I am yet to decide if it was worth it or not. I mean, was this match actually significant of anything? To the untrained tennis eye, it might have been touted as the match to determine once and for all, who is the best. To most, however, it was a clearcut gimmick, perhaps interesting, perhaps not. I found it interesting in theory, but pointless, mostly because Nada won 7-5, 4-6, 7-6 (12-10). These two win everything, everything and are entirely unbeatable to the point that it is obnoxious now. But in choosing a favorite of obnoxious winners, I am gonna have to go with Roger.

Say what you will, I will take the crying and the jacket anyday over the teething moron on the podium. So, let's step it up, Fed. I mean you can beat anyone all the time, anywhere, anyplace, but why not Nadal, who on any given day can fall to anyone if the match is not on clay? The boy is streaky, although he is beginning to do a lot more on other surfaces. If Roger is ever going to win the French, which he can, I have a hunch it will be because someone else beat Nadal in an earlier round. But that is just a gut feeling, and a long shot. Who knows. I am so much more over Nadal's streak on clay than I am Fed's Wimbledon's. Besides, Roger still has to keep winning so he can break Sampras' record!

In funner news, how much you wanna bet the Federer camp MADE Nadal clean up before any pictures would be taken! See the pic above.

Please take Lohan seriously...she is getting classier

In a plea to be taken seriously, Lohan released the following statement: "I don't think there has been a role for an actress like this movie was for me in so long. At first I was like, 'I can't do this, I'm getting my legs cut off. I don't want to look like that in scenes, I want to look decent.' But that was just me being young and stupid. And I have my first sex scene in it, which I always said I wouldn't do. I wanted to do this movie so people can see that I'm a f**king actress and I've been doing it forever and it's about time people see that. It felt so good to really act. I just pray people won't rip me apart for it, and be negative. The thing with the press, and why they need to leave me the f**k alone for a little bit, is because I don't want that distracting from my work. I want to get a nomination. I want to win an Oscar. I want to be known for more than, like, going out. For being the 'party girl'. I hate that. I bust my ass when I'm filming and when I have time off, yeah, I like to go out and dance."

Ahhh, reminiscent of a young Ms. Streep. F**k yeah!

Wednesday, May 02, 2007

Holy McGreevey!

From the Star-Ledger:

Former Gov. James E. McGreevey has started the process to become a priest in his newly adopted Episcopal faith and hopes to begin a three-year seminary program in the fall.
Yes, a priest. From Parkway rest stops to the seminary.

Commence with the Father McGreevey/altar boy jokes now.

More here.


Tuesday, May 01, 2007

It's here, it's here!

Dina Matos McGreevey's book, Silent Partner, hit bookstores today. She will be appearing on Oprah later today and on Good Morning America tomorrow morning.

Should we buy this one?

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