Sunday, August 26, 2007

Maria Will Be Wearing Red

The US Open. And the pot 'n kettle are going! Good times. Good picks:

First Quatrain: Everyone wants the #1Federer/#5Roddick quarter and everyone will get it. First test for Fed will be #21Juan Carlos, which may go 4 sets. Roddick will cruise to the quarters. First round match has Fed against, Scoville Jenkins, who was America's sweetheart for the past two years, falling to Nadal, and Roddick in early night rounds. He is cool. No tennis blog will ever be complete now with a nod to the hotness of Robert Kendrick. Just an aside.
Fed over Roddick

Second Quatrain: Probably the most open quarter. At #4 Davydenko is still not that dominant. #6 Blake is the crowd fave, but sporadic. #14 Canas is on his drug comeback, #19 Andy Murray has done well, but not a very good year. Lingering is #10 Haas, hot but inconsistent, and then a resurging, in my opinion, Baghdatis, somehow seeded #18. I like him a lot. Bagh against Blake in the third round could be the craziest fan match ever.
Bagh over Davydenko

Third Quatrain: Probably the first time #3 Djok is considered a real potential at a major. Why then does that make me think he is going to lose early? Eh, hard to say, but I wouldnt be surprised. #16 Lleyton could be a ton of trouble for him.
I am picking this one to really bust open #16 Hewitt over #17 Moya
Stupid? Probably.

Fourth Quatrain. The world has been waiting for Nadal to do anything at the US Open. Will he? Eh, hard to have much faith in him. He did nothing this summer on the hard courts and word is he is pretty banged up. Safin is also here, btw and my new love Frank Dancevic
#7 Gonzalez over Nadal. Who knows.

Semis: Federer over Bagh; Hewitt over Gonzo
Final: Federer over Hewitt. I think I picked this as the Wimbledon final as well. I just never learn.

Women. The women simply need to step it up. And stay un-injured. This has been a ridiculous year, and lately is crazy beyong belief. And yet, Justine won the french, Venus won Wimbledon, and Serena won Aussie. I am sure everyone has heard about the all out slugfest in the top half. Annoyingly, Justine still might get through. Plus we have to decide if we want an all Serb quarter? or an all Williams semi? UGH!

First Quatrain: Like the Roddick/Fed quarter so is the #8Serena/#1Justine ultimate smackdown. Third slam in a row, mind you, this year they met in the quarters. I have picked Justine to lose and she hasn't yet. Ugh. Oh and #10 Marion Bartoli: 15 minutes, bye bye. We really like #20Safarova by the way.
Serena over Justine

Second Quatrain: This section is unreal. I can't really say more. It is kind of unfair for everyone here. Not only could any of em be a favorite to win; I think they are all my fave players on the tour right now? Is that possible? #3 Jankovic, #5 Ivanovic and #12 Venus. I feel that Jankovic is currenty the healthiest player and absolutely the fittest player. Which makes me happy and also makes me think she should be rewarded. #29 Sam Stosur is a cutey-pie
Janky over Venus

Third Quatrain: What the hell is going on here? #4 Kutzy is not a safe bet for anything, neither is #7 Nadia or #9 Pretty Hantuchova. Plus we got #16 Hingis here, trying, trying, trying. So we have 3 power players who are mental F-ups, and little Hingy who just can't hit a ball hard no matter what. As always I will go with my heart.
Hingis over Petrova

Fourth Quatrain: Yes #2 Sharapova lucked out, but let's give some credit to some of these players here, especially #6 Anna Chakvedatze. 1. She is cute and Russian and more similar to Anna Kournikova than Sharapovs. Still Sharapovs is hotter. 2. She ate up the summer tourneys til she got fatigued. And now that I know how to pronounce her last name, I love it even more. #13 Vaidisova is also around and could be a problem in the 4th round for Maria. But Maria somehow makes it to latest stages of slams. And only loses to a Williams.
Maria over Chak.

Semis: Serena over Jank (when will she get it all together!) Sharpova destroying Hingis
Final, in a repeat of the Aussie, Serena over Maria

Friday, August 24, 2007

From the streets of Gotham

I would ventue to say that this guy is one of Batman's biggest fans. And likely someone who spends a full week's vacation at Comic-Con every year.

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Wednesday, August 22, 2007

Battle of the Network Gays

Earlier this month, Sara Gilbert, who brilliantly played acerbic daughter Darlene, on Roseanne, and was nominated twice for Emmy, had her second child with her partner Allison Adler. I believe Darlene, I mean Sara, had this child, Sawyer, a girl, and Allison had their first son, Levi.

Just last night, I watched Third Man Out, which was a made for Canadian TV movie starring Chad Allen as a gay private eye. So popular was this first movie, and apparently the books it is adapted from, that this character, Donald Strachey, is being developed into a gay movie franchise. Its second installment, A Shock to the System, was released on DVD in February and costars Morgan Fairchild. The movie wasn't great. It wasn't horrible. It was fun gay skinemax material. Go Chad, whom I have loved since My Two Dads, by the way.

Lastly Danny Pintauro has never been heard from, but I really wish he would start dating Chip from Kate and Allie, who is allegedly straight still.

Friday, August 17, 2007

Stealing Winona Ryder

A funny thing happened at the grocery store. Now, if you know me, as none of you do, you know that I never ever have a smooth, tension-free trip to the grocery store. I am like a Greek tragic hero, whom the gods have cursed to always have horrendous experiences there. You may remember my post, "The Kettle Goes to ShopRite...Trouble Usually Follows." So one of my latest trips to the grocer was accordingly not without event.

As always, I managed to pick the slowest, most backwards lane ever. At the end of my lane happened to be the little on-sale DVD's. Perused I did, and I found the last copy of majestic film The Age of Innocence, book by Edith Wharton. Did I really need to own this movie though? I weighed my options. One, Winona Ryder is fantastic, and robbed of her Oscar by the elfin Piano girl. Two, and more importantly is the fact that I would love to one day teach the text and for that, as any good teacher will tell you, a movie is essential! ;-) And the movie was only $9.99! What a steal! (keep reading)

So I put the movie in my cart, in the little seat for crying babies, painfully waited to get through the line and went out to my car. Cut to my cute little kitchen, and me unpacking groceries, I thought, "Where is The Age of Innocence?" It was nowhere to be found. And as I thought about it more, I remembered that I never took it from the cart onto the conveyor belt and my total was much too low to have included a 9.99 movie. Verdict: Stolen movie!

So now I was really interested, as you cannot comprehend the excitement I felt at having stolen a Winona Ryder movie. I wished, right then and there, that I was overmedicated on prescription pills. I wished I could say, "But I am playing a thief in my next movie, and this is research!" I wished I could have plead to the authorities, "I thought I paid for that." And he would have retorted, "Not quite the age of innocence." (wink wink/nudge nudge). There were just so many exciting things to think of and say.

Anyhow, the story isn't as exciting as the thievery would suggest. It wasn't in any of my bags. It definitely wasn't on my receipt (HA!). So I had to assume it was still in the shopping cart, the shopping cart which I meticulously, in accordance with the rules and like a good civilian, returned to the Shopping Cart Drop Off, and didn't horrendously prop up against the curb like a selfish person who was not raised properly.

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Thursday, August 09, 2007

Posh's book club?

Move over Oprah, there seems to be a new book-selling guru in town: Posh Spice (a/k/a Victoria Beckham).

According to the Drudge Report:


According to The Sun, "[s]ales of Skinny Bitch soared by 674 per cent on Amazon after Victoria Beckham was spotted with a copy in Los Angeles at the weekend."

As of this morning, the Sales Rank for the book is #8. It's #11 on Barnes & Noble's website.

Does this mean Posh reads?

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Thursday, August 02, 2007

The Greatest Whore of All

Ok, so my sister M and I frequently discuss the cinematic masterpiece Georgia. It is insane and scary and hilarious and poignant and excellent and sad, etc. We are kind of in love with Jennifer Jason Leigh in it. Totally robbed of an Oscar, let alone a nom, but it was a crazy great year that year for the ladies with Susan Sarandon (Dead Man Walking) besting Meryl Streep doing Italian in Bridges, Sharon Stone's one shot at respectability in Casino (which in hindsight was just a lot of good yelling), Elisabeth Shue in Leaving Las Vegas (so good, so sad...and when are Shue and Jennifer Jason going to play sisters already?), and finally Emma Thompson as the world's oldest 19 year old in Sense and Sensibility.

Anyway, M and I adore JJL because she is always such trash. And that's when it dawned on me, a theory if you will. My hypothesis is that Jennifer Jason Leigh has played more hookers than any other actress. Now, understand the rules, a slut who just gets around is not a prostitute. A crazy, trashy gal is not a prostitute. A prostitute gets paid for sexual favors. End of story.

So, let's discuss what JJL brings to the contest
1. Last Exit to Brooklyn. Her most famous hooker and maybe the most infamous hooker of all. She was just such a mess.
2. Miami Blues. She chose to play this hooker half-retarded. Interesting choice.
3. The Machinist. A latter career hooker! Brave.
4. Death Ride to Osaka. Thanks for that one amazon! I never would have known.
5. Short Cuts. She got paid for phone sex. That counts. Unless I hear otherwise.

That's as far as I've gotten.
The jury is still out if having sex for drugs counts. She would add Georgia and possibly another handful.

If anyone would like to posit other actresses to contend, by all means.
If anyone even mentions Julia Roberts, please rethink everything about your life.

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