Wednesday, May 16, 2007

Bank of America's Giant Urinal

Over the past 12+ months I've been watching the construction of the Bank of America Tower (also known as One Bryant Park) from my office window. The building, located on the corner of 42nd Street and 6th Avenue in Midtown Manhattan, is set to be completed sometime in 2008. Although the construction of the tower is fairly far along -- the structure currently reaches over 50-floors -- some things, like the enclosure of the upper floors, have not been completed yet.

This didn't bother me until about a week ago when, on a sunny afternoon, I looked out my office window and saw a construction worker relieving himself on a steel beam in the corner of the building.

Yep, he took a piss.

I didn't see the actual stream of urine, and I didn't see his, um, tool (although his welding iron was nearby), but I've pissed enough in my life to know what it looks like when a man does it. He was standing like he was taking a piss, his hands were in the pissing position and when he was done, I could see him do the post-piss shake before zipping up and walking back to work.

I was a little surprised with this act of semi-public urination. But since it was late in the afternoon and the work site was fairly empty, I figured why should he look for the nearest porta-potty when there are so many exposed steel beam facing crowded office buildings that he could whip it out and do his business on?

Fast forward to 1:15p.m. today. I'm down the hall in a colleague's office, which happens to face the same direction as mine, chatting about some ridiculous document or memo or whatever, when I see a man approach a steel beam on one of the upper exposed floors, open his pants and do his business. It was the same deal (but different guy) -- he had the piss stance going, his hands were in the pissing position, pants were open, etc. -- as last week.

The two main differences between the pissing incidents were (1) the work site was filled with workers today and (2) this guy nearly lost his pants post-shake when he went to zip up. Yep . . . we got to see some ass crack today.

What I've learned from this is that no one on a construction site uses the porta-potties to take a piss. That's what steel beams are for. So when you are walking past a construction site on a sunny day and feel a few drops of moisture hit you from above, don't think it's from the air conditioning.

And to the BoA employees moving in next year . . . your territory has already been marked.

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I heard this building will be eco-friendly and have waterless urinals. Maybe these construction workers think that means the building is a pissing free-for-all.
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