The Pot and The Kettle

Ok, loyal reader, you know how bad I am at predicting anything, but it is the process that is fun, right? US OPEN '06 brings us the last hurrah of Andre, and although it pains me to admit, possibly the last we will see of Dav. I say she is 50/50 for next year. Anyway, back to Andre. He will sorely be missed as he is 1000 times more likable than Sampras. I wish him well in retirement, and maybe he will stop shaving for a bit. His children are adorable. His wife is fabulous. Even his acid-washed denim shorts were kinda fun. He donates more money to charity than any other professional athlete. Now if only he would open his mouth a tickle more when he speaks. Hello, lock-jaw? He is possibly most responsible for making tennis the spectator sport it is. He made it fun. AND COOL! Thanks, Andre. Unfortunately, I see him going out in Rd 2. to Baghdatis, who in case you haven't heard, is from Cyprus. Ok, here's what I am seeing:

Men: Some interesting matches; ultimately all Federer.
Top quarter: Rog will cruise. (5)Blake will fall.
Quarterfinal: (1)Federer vs. (23)Tursunov

2nd quarter: Total hotness here, and this doesn't even include the Nadal/Philippoussis first rounder! Marat Safin and Robert Kendrick (both unseeded), Ginepri (18), and Tommy Haas (14). Oh to be the ball boy here. Top seeds here are Davydenko(7) and Nalbandian(4). I couldn't pick them out of a lineup of 2.
Quarterfinal: (14)Haas vs. (17)Andy Murray

3rd quarter: Hopefully an excellent Round of 16 match of Baghy(8) and Roddick(9). I will go with Roddick. Everyone is saying he is back, which makes me want him to lose ASAP. I just don't know. If only he wasn't so popular and every girl didn't want him :-(
Quarterfinal: (9)Roddick vs. (3)Ljubicic. Yes the #3 player in the world is named Ivan Ljubicic.

4th quarter: We so want unseeded and wild card Philippousis to beat Nadal. Unfortunately, that won't happen.
Quarterfinal: (2)Nadal vs (19)Hrbaty

Semis: Federer vs. Haas; Nadal vs. Ljubicic
Finals: Federer vs. Ljubicic
Winner: Federer
The WOMEN! God knows what is going to happen here. (1)Mauresmo, (10)Dav, (5)Petrova, unseeded Serena, even (2)JHH are kinda shaky. Altho if anyone can pull through that it is JHH. Serena too. Hingis has come back and has proven she still cannot beat anyone who is healthy and powerful. (4)Elena Mc-NoServe Dementieva, (6)Kutzy, (11)Myskina, and (7)Schnyder will forever be non-entities at a Slam, unfortunately. Which leaves us with #3 Sharapova and the horde of hot, young Eastern European gals all vying to be the next her: (9)Nicole Vaidisova, (12)Dinara Safina, (15)Anna-Lena Groenefeld, (16)Ana Ivanovic, (19)Jelena Jankovic, and (27)Tatiana Golovin.

Top Quarter: Toughest little top section includes Mauresmo, Serena, and Ivanovic. Hingis should cruise to the quarter from the bottom up. Hard to know if Serena or Amelie will be in any kind of shape to do well. I think not.
Quarterfinal: (8)Hingis vs. (16)Ivanovic

2nd Quarter: Sadly my gal Nadia has sucked it up since April. Sharapova had a great summer until she lost, citing exhaustion. If she has rested and JHH remains shaky, this is honestly her best shot to get another slam. All the top players are weak right now, and at least in slams, she never loses to those ranked below her. The French Open excluded.
Quarterfinal: (3)Sharapova vs. (27)Golovin

3rd Quarter: My new favorite player is Samantha Stosur, Australia. She is unseeded, but has a huge game. I am going with her to break out here. Top seeds here are Dementieva(4) and Kutzy(6). I can't root for them, although most times off the ground - serve excluded - Dementieva is fierce.
Quarterfinal: Stosur vs (9) Vaidisova

4th Quarter: Praying Dav is well enough to play well. Who knows; it will be day by day early in the first week. If she can't get it together, Schnyder will take her out in Round of 16. If her injury is legit, she may not even make it that far. Still, I have to go with her.
Quarterfinal: (2)JHH vs (10)Dav

Semis: Ivanovic vs. Sharapova; Vaidisova vs JHH
Final: Sharapova vs. JHH
Winner: Sharapova

I reserve the right to be embarrassingly wrong here. And if anyone can take out JHH, by all means.

Celeb news is currently rocking my world. That's right. I think that is the first time I have ever used that phrase, but it felt so right. Tom Cruise is getting canned. Mel Gibson is currently making phone calls of apologies to all the high powered Jews. (What about the second tier Jews, Mel??? Where do you draw the line?) And just when we thought it couldn't get any better, William H. Macy declares he has a hankering to kick some ass. Whose ass? None other than Lindsay Lohan's. YES!

IMDB reports: Veteran actor William H. Macy has blasted co-star Lindsay Lohan for her behavior while filming the movie Bobby, insisting she "should have her ass kicked." The star shared scenes with the 20-year-old actress in the film and admires her talent, but not her manners. He said, "You can't show up late. It's very, very disrespectful." Lohan was blasted in a letter last month from the Ceo of Morgan Creek Productions for her absences on set of her new film Georgia Rule, who called her behavior that of "a spoiled child." He explains, "I think what an actor has to realize (is that) when you show up an hour late, 150 people have been scrambling to cover for you. It's nothing but disrespect. And Lindsay Lohan is not the only one. A lot of actors show up late as if they're God's gift to the film. It's inexcusable, and they should have their asses kicked."

Don't mess.

So, is America in agreement that Li-Lo has officially outtrashed Tara Reid?
Maybe a Pot 'n Kettle poll?

Emmys '06. I am scared. I still don't understand the new nomination process. I love Stockard Channing as much as....well, more than anyone who might even know who she is, but say it with me Bluth fans, "Her?" There may be some new faces as noms but I am seeing a lot of tired old wins. Oh well. Surprisingly, I am so psyched for Conan. And like the last time he hosted, I am anticipating him to steal the show. And thank g-d for that! For some reason Barry Manilow is performing. I still have no idea why. But again, I am scared. And I even kinda like him, again scary, but there is no need for musical numbers at the Emmys ever. Yes ever. OK, so The Pot won't get mad at me for a long post, let's cut to the chase.

Nominees on the left; Picks on the right, in red
Supporting Actor/Comedy

Supporting Actress/Comedy
Cheryl Hines/Curb.................Rootin 4: Jaime
Alfre Woodard/DH.................Gainst: CHERYL!
Jaime Pressly/Earl.................Spoiler: Anyone but Cheryl, honestly
Elizabeth Perkins/Weeds..........Winner: Megan
Megan Mullally/W&G...............Lucille is rolling in her grave. Next year, Pam

Lead Actor/Comedy
Larry David/Curb..................Rootin 4: Steve
Kevin James/King o’ Queens......Gainst: Charlie
Tony Shalhoub/Monk..............Spoiler: Shalhoub
Steve Carell /Office................Winner: Steve
Charlie Sheen/2.5Men...............Nervous about Monk. Should be Jason B.’s!!!

Lead Actress/Comedy
Lisa Kudrow/Comeback..............Rootin 4: Kudrow
Jane Kaczmarek/Malcolm............Gainst: Debra
Julia Louis-Dreyfus/Old Christine....Spoiler: Jane
Stockard Channing/Out of P...........Winner: Kudrow
Debra Messing/W&G....................Kudrow’s last laugh. Miss Marcia Cross.

Supporting Actor/Drama
William Shatner/Boston Legal........Rootin 4: Imperioli
Oliver Platt/Huff.....................Gainst: Shatner
Michael Imperioli/Sopranos...........Spoiler: No Idea
Gregory Itzin/24........................Winner: Alda
Alan Alda/West Wing..................COULDN’T CARE LESS

Supporting Actress/Drama
Candice Bergen/Boston Legal..........Rootin 4: Candice
Sandra Oh/Grey’s.......................Gainst: Blythe, ick
Chandra Wilson/Grey’s.................Spoiler: Jean
Blythe Danner/Huff......................Winner: Oh
Jean Smart/24.............................No clue. I like Claire Fisher.

Lead Actor/Drama
Christopher Meloni/Law and O.....Rootin 4: NATE! Aww
Denis Leary/Rescue Me..............Gainst: Martin
Peter Krause/6FU.....................Spoiler: Keifer
Kiefer Sutherland/24.................Winner: Martin
Martin Sheen/West Wing............Meloni is hot. Why can I envision a Leary surprise?

Lead Actress/Drama
Kyra Sedgwick/Closer...................Rootin 4: RUTH!
Geena Davis/Commander................Gainst: Allison
Mariska Hargitay/Law and O............Spoiler: Kyra
Frances Conroy/6FU......................Winner: Allison
Allison Janney as C.J. Cregg.............Edie Falco should be here to f*%! Janney up.

Comedy Series
Arrested Development..............Rootin 4: AD!
Curb Your Enthusiasm...............Gainst: Two and a Half
The Office...........................Spoiler: AD
Scrubs................................Winner: Office
Two And A Half Men.................Still glad no DH!!! AD was/is the best show ever.

Drama Series
Grey’s Anatomy.................Rootin 4: House
House............................Gainst: West Wing
The Sopranos....................Spoiler: Grey’s
24..................................Winner: West Wing
The West Wing..................Honestly, I have never seen a single episode of any of em.

Sunday, August 27 8pm
Is it bad I feel I good about these picks?

Oh, and US Open predictions soon. I hate myself.

And the nominees were:
Outstanding Guest Actor In A Comedy Series
Patrick Stewart as Himself. EXTRAS
Ben Stiller as Himself. EXTRAS
Martin Sheen as Harvey.
Two and a Half Men
Alec Baldwin as Malcolm.
Will & Grace
Leslie Jordan as Beverley Leslie. Will & Grace


When the noms first came out, this was my summation of the list:
"Alec Baldwin is gross. Beverley Leslie is the first W&G guest nominee I have ever supported. Ever. He kills me. Good for him."

And the winner is... I mean, the Emmy goes to...

Well, well, well, if it isn't Beverley Leslie!



Full Emmy predictions later this week. I am sure no one can wait.

What a fun news story this is: A Sunday School teacher was fired because she is a woman. Apparently Reverend Timothy LaBouf (undoubtedly gay) is sticking to the first epistle to Timothy, which says, "I do not permit a woman to teach or to have authority over a man; she must be silent." 1 Timothy 2:12

Poor gal, and she had been a teacher for 54 years!

Still it does remind me of one of my favorite Tiny Fey jokes ever:

Tina Fey: In her 130th day aboard the international space station, American astronaut Peggy Whitson said that her tastes have changed while in space, and she no longer wants the forty shrimp meals she brought along. Hey, Peggy? Do you want them to keep letting women be astronauts? Yeah? Shut up, and eat the shrimp!

So I am happy.

So this post is way overdue. I have been back from Russia for like years now. But the fact that I haven't been sleeping well is my only excuse. I would like to thank the otherwise annoying A.Z. for providing me with the title to this post. I was surprised how un-Communist Russia was, except for the line of old women who stood outside the grocery store near my hotel in St. Petersburg, begging for people to buy their gnarly flowers or turnips or something. That was early into my Russian stay, however, before I fell in love with the babushka, which is more than just the shawl old ladies wear over their heads, Americans! The babushka actually is the old lady. And she is awesome.

So the Pot made fun of my lists while I was gone? Here's a list...

Top Things I Learned in Russia
1. Don't go by yourself.
2. Don't go by yourself if you don't speak a word of Russian.
3. The Cyrillic alphabet needs to dropped, forgotten, and written off as a faux pas of the Dark Ages because it is the worst thing EVER!
4. Tipping? I still don't have a clue.
5. Any woman over the age of 50 should rock the babushka (the shawl). This occured to me before I realized what babuska actually meant, but you get it.
6. Have nothing to do with the tap water.
7. Ditto the toilet paper.
8. Even if you can't communicate with your cab driver at all, have some basic agreement and understanding of the correct airport where he needs to deposit you.
9. Flirting is a universal language. Use it to your advantage at all costs!
10. The two-part episode of Head of the Class, where the gang from the IHP went to the then Soviet Union, was really such a breakthrough in diplomacy.
11. CCCP = USSR. I honestly had no idea.
12. Russian men are frightening and mean.
13. Don't forget your papers anywhere because if you do....
14. It really does all come back to Animal Farm. I had been saying this in my own life forever. I am so glad it is actually applicable somewhere.

(and one from Prague: Ordering simply "a beer" and everyone understands what brand you are getting is such a beautiful thing!)

Welcome Home, Me!

We're working overtime here to keep up to date on all things McGreevey!

As soon as we finished our post about the fading interest in Jim's book among Garden Staters, we noticed that Jimbo is looking to Joan Rivers and Bravo for his next gig. From Page Six:

Jim ("I am a gay American") McGreevey might have a new job soon - as one of the homosexual hosts on the talk show Joan Rivers is launching this fall on Bravo that's described as a queer version of "The View." Rivers is hiring three male co-hosts. After auditioning dozens, she's said to have eliminated all but the final 10, one of whom is the former New Jersey governor. Rivers was overheard telling an associate, "I am mad about the ex-governor. I am dancing down the streets."

Joan, can we talk? What gives, girl? No disrespecting the gay ex-gov, but come on . . . a TV host she's not.

Please, can we turn our attention back to Lance Bass's boyfriend or shirtless pics of Jared Leto?

Is Jim McGreevey's 16th minute of fame just about over?

No one knows for sure exactly when he'll drop off the radar, but it seems from a new poll out of Monmouth University that his former constiuents think it should have already happened:

Perhaps New Jerseyans already know too much about Jim McGreevey, who two years ago declared himself "a gay American" and announced he would resign as governor.

Or maybe they just don't care.

Either way, when it comes to McGreevey's tell-all book, The Confession, a new poll indicates that few state residents will be buying when it is released Sept. 19.

In the Monmouth University poll, released yesterday, 79 percent reported "absolutely no interest" in reading the 384-page memoir. Merely 5 percent reported "a lot of interest," and 14 percent a "little interest."

So who are the 5% that are very interested? According to David Rebovich, a political science professor at Rider University in Lawrenceville, New Jersey, its anyone involved in New Jersey politics. Why? Rebovich says "I think they're mostly hoping their names aren't in the index."

We here at the Pot and Kettle don't yet know how we feel about the public's fading interest in Jim. On the one hand, McGreevey, even two years after his resignation, is good fodder for blogging and the release of his book and publication of his Garden State Parkway rest stop trysts will certainly lead to at least a little chit-chat pre- and post-Oprah. Plus, we are still waiting to be invited to a pool party and to meet his new beau, Mark O'Donnell!

On the other hand, its time for the gay-American ex-governor to slip back into society and let us all move on to discuss more important things. Like how f**king hot Lance Bass's boyfriend is.

the kettle went to yearbook camp! it wasn't really as dorky as it sounds. at least i don't think so. but then again, i can be kinda dorky myself, and maybe i wouldn't have noticed.

Here are some fun things I learned:
1. I would really enjoy getting into graphic design. Maybe if i hadn't been called by education, that would be my lucrative career.
2. Hot baseball/football coachy looking people from an all boy's schools in Long Island are wonderful. Too bad they are just coming back from their honeymoons. Grrrrr!
3. The wonderful t-shirts i used to design are excellent yearbook prep. Really.
4. I am horrendous - HORRENDOUS! - with paperwork and budgets. In fact, they scare me.

I'll admit that there is something about Lance Bass that I find unexplainably attractive. Not so much in his Boy Band stage, but I think grown-up Lance is somewhat cute (especially with the facial scruff in the picture on the cover of his "I'm Gay" People magazine spread).

With that said, and with all due respect Lance, how the f**k did you land Reichen Lehmkuhl (pictured here)? Lehmkuhl, the Air Force pilot turned reality TV star (Amazing Race) turned gay activist is on a field of play only few in the gay world can ever aspire to play on. I guess Lance somehow got picked for that team, albeit probably the last to get chosen, after the hot lesbian.

Anyways, maybe Reichen -- who is trying to become a star of some sort in his own right -- is working his way to the Hollywood A-list by making his way through the D, C and B list first. Should I be so cynical? Maybe they really are interested in each other? Maybe its love?

Or maybe Reichen is just looking to sell some books. If that is the case, I hope Lance dumps him ASAP. Just have one last romp in the bedroom first, ok?