The Pot and The Kettle

don't get your hopes. signor kettle is not making new year's resolutions. it is my most hated day of the year, after all... followed by my birthday and valentine's day. but i thought this might be a fine time to reassess my 10 goals (we loath using the word goals, though) for the year before i am officially 30.

To jog your mem, here is the orginal post

So after 25% of the year, here is how I am doing on My 10 Pipedreams:
10. Get rid of my gas-guzzling, yet jockish, pick-up truck.
Lease is officially up June 6, 2007 and counting... Bye Sir X, 33Long
9. Pay off my Macy*s bill.
Looooooong way to go still.
8. Read The House of Sand and Fog or A Confederacy of Dunces. Ideally both. The two have alternated as the book I will read next for about 5 years now.
I finished the House of Sand and Fog tonight! I think I can get Confederacy out of the way, by next September. Re: House of S&F, I think I was supposed to root for Jennifer Connelly and not Ben Kingsley. I loved Iranian Ben and hated whory eyebrow Connelly....at least in the book, folks. Coulda been shorter; I was reading it for an embarrassingly long amount of time.
7. Go away for Spring Break.
Ask me in March. Seattle is looking tempting.
6. Hang some things on my walls and get the plates over my electrical outlets and light switches.
Nada.
5. Have a magical Christmas.
Hmmmm...the jury might still be out. 1) I didn't get a new wallet and 1a) There was no one in the picture to give me said wallet. 2) My eight month old niece is the most magical, charming, and well-behaved 8month old who has ever lived. 3) My 3.5 year old nephew can go from adorable and kind to spoiled and bratty at the drop of a hat. Am I being too hard on the 3.5 year old? As of now, I don't think so. Aim high. The magic of Christmas was a 7 outta 10. I think.
4. Do something with the brilliant play I wrote. Nothing extreme. But something.
I managed to actually print it. It is in paper form!
3. Think more positively. (Whoa, who wrote that?)
This was stupid to begin with.
2. Join a club? Maybe start a hobby?
I need to get back to rockin out at the gym. I started an impossible puzzle and kinda moved it aside. So no progress here.
1. Learn to sleep.
Believe it or not, for a while in November and December, I was sleeping mostly through the whole night and waking up when my alarm clock sounded! Not before and laying there waiting! Yahoo!

Ok, with 25% 0f the year gone by, I am gonna say, I am roughly 25% of the way done.
Welcome '07!
For those of you keeping score, I once thought I did better in odd years. Or was it that I did better when I was an odd-numbered age?

I am going to add one more non-resolution: To see all 5 Best Pic nominees for the Oscars. I think I already have 3 of the set 4 out of the way: The Departed, The Queen, Little Miss Sunshine. I think I can get the 4th given nom done soon: Dreamgirls.
My prediction for the totally open 5th: Letters from Iwo Jima.
Here at Pot'NKettle, we are so anti-Babel, it like isn't even funny.

happy birthday, g-rose!

Merry Christmas.

Whenever I get gloomy with the state of the world, I think about the arrivals gate at Heathrow Airport. General opinion's starting to make out that we live in a world of hatred and greed, but I don't see that. It seems to me that love is everywhere. Often it's not particularly dignified or newsworthy, but it's always there - fathers and sons, mothers and daughters, husbands and wives, boyfriends, girlfriends, old friends. When the planes hit the Twin Towers, as far as I know none of the phone calls from the people on board were messages of hate or revenge - they were all messages of love. If you look for it, I've got a sneaky feeling you'll find that love actually is all around.

Civil unions for gay couples became law in New Jersey today after Governor Jon S. Corzine signed a bill creating such unions into law at about 11:00a.m. The new law is a result of an October New Jersey Supreme Court decision in which the court mandated that the legislature either create civil unions (which would have to be identical in rights and responsibilities as marriage) or allow gays to marry. The Legislature (and the Governor) took the easier of the two roads and created civil unions.

I won't speak for The Kettle on this one, but I think this is a good outcome. For me its always been about getting the rights. Being equal. The name -- domestic partnership, civil union, marriage -- didn't really matter to me (despite my disdain for anything "separate but equal"). This bill (now law) does that. Gay couples who choose to become civil-unionized will have the same rights and responsibilities (under state law) as heterosexual couples who get married. Its equality, with a different name.

My one issue with what transpired today is the quote I saw from the Governor. He said, in speaking about the bill: "We join the ranks of the leaders in the nation in reflecting equal rights for everyone." He is correct. We do. But it only happened because the Supreme Court forced it. Corzine is opposed to gay marriage (although also opposed to a constitutional amendment banning it). He didn't campaign on the issue of equal rights for gays and he never promised to push for them. If it weren't for the court's decision, this bill would never have seen the light of day and Corzine wouldn't be championing New Jersey as being on the forefront of equal rights.

Anyway, don't rush out to get your civil union license just yet. Although the bill was signed into law today, it doesn't go into effect until February 19, 2007.

So Nicole Ritchie was drunk driving and Lindsay Lohan is an alcoholic. Nothing too noteworthy there, when you think about it. Hell, even panty-less Britney Spears isn't that revolutionary with her antics. So, here is a girl who actually needs real help and an intervention. Stat.

Natasha Lyonne was once so promising. In my opinion, she was the funniest (and most bitter) part of American Pie. She was the one who said of masturbation, "You've never double-clicked your mouse?" Or when bright-eyed Tara Reid wanted her first time to be at the right place in the right moment, Lyonne quipped, "Settle, this isn't a space shuttle launch. It's just sex." (Thanks imdb!) And then Slums of Beverly Hills totally put her on the map! She was going places.

Cut to drinking, drugs, etc. etc. and now this...Threatening to molest her neighbor's dog. On the one hand, that is kinda funny, if you have an annoying neighbor with an annoying dog. Seems like I would laugh if I heard that one. I might even root for others to make such a threat. But maybe, on the other hand, thinking about it a but more closely, it is all just too bizarre.

There really is nothing to be gained by molesting a dog. So, maybe let's not make that threat.

'American Pie' Actress Turns Herself In
By Jeanne King

NEW YORK (Dec. 15) - Actress Natasha Lyonne, the star of "American Pie" accused of threatening to sexually molest a dog, turned herself in at a New York court on Friday.

A bench warrant was issued for her arrest in January after Lyonne, who has also appeared in "Blade," and "Scary Movie 2," missed four court hearings.

The 27-year-old faced a number of charges including criminal mischief, harassment and trespassing after accusations she threatened to sexually molest her former neighbor's dog and ripped a mirror off the wall during a 2004 argument.

At the Manhattan Criminal Court appearance, drug counselor Heather Hayes said Lyonne had completed an in-patient drug program in February and continued to attend outpatient rehabilitation groups.

Judge Anthony Ferrara said the charges would be dropped if the actress stayed out of trouble for the next six months.

In the court complaint, Lyonne's former roommate claimed Lyonne trashed their apartment and then banged on a neighbor's door, rushed into that apartment and picked up her dog, telling the woman, "I'm going to sexually molest your dog."

Lyonne pleaded guilty in 2002 to driving under the influence of alcohol in Miami. She was fined, sentenced to six months probation and 50 hours community service.

This week's debate gay marriage v. civil unions debate in New Jersey sure wasn't short on the rhetoric or ad hominem attacks, including the following exchange between uber-conservative Bogota, New Jersey Mayor Steven Lonegan and Garden State Equality's Chairman Steven Goldstein.

Lonegan started it with the following (from the Record via PoliticsNJ):

"No! I'm not doing it! They're not going to force me to do civil unions. They're going to have to put a gun to my head. Even then it's going to be a challenge." -- Bogota Mayor Steven Lonegan, on performing civil unions. Lonegan " said he performs about two dozen marriages a year, and officiated at one in which the groom 'was so drunk he couldn't stand up.' He said he didn't object to adults who choose a particular lifestyle, but resented that he would have a government-ordered role in their union."

Oh I could say so many things about Lonegan's ridiculous statements, but I'm just here to report.

So what was Steven Goldstein's reply, you ask? Well:

"So let's get this right: Steve Lonegan, whose stunning political achievement has been to make Bret Schundler look moderate in statewide elections, would not preside over a ceremony between two loving, committed people of the same gender but would preside -- and has -- over a groom too intoxicated and thus not legally capacitated to enter a legal contract? With defenders of marriage like Steve Lonegan, grooms don't even need to show up anymore. On any marriage license, Mayor Lonegan is apparently willing to write the name Johnnie Walker. It's time to let gay couples marry. Not civil union -- but marry. We'll protect the institution from Steve Lonegan."

I give Goldstein a B for effort but a C- for content. He came out with his guns blazing but chose nasty rhetoric over a substantive response. The opportunity to really call this guy to task for his statement was there, but the execution was muddled by talking points and hyperbole.

But not to be disappointed, North Plainfield Council President Nathan Rudy decided that he'd weigh in on Lonegan's comments:

"Not for nothing here, Steve, but no one is gonna put a gun to your head to make you marry anyone. Performing marriage ceremonies -- or civil union ceremonies -- is an optional duty of being a Mayor and you can pick and choose when you want to officiate at a wedding. Your very strong stand is little more than bluster and bullspittle, and what is most pathetic is that you know it. However, your employees will have to issue the licenses for civil unions or same-sex marriages, and if you had real courage in your homophobic convictions you'd risk getting your butt sued off by refusing to let them. Frankly, I'd like to see if you have the guts to do it or if you are just blowing smoke up everyone's ass like usual. I suspect the latter."

Oh snap! Damn, Nate, let's not pull and punches man. A little on the nasty side, Steve Lonegan just got the put-up-or-shut-up from Nathan Rudy. My guess is that Lonegan won't do either.

After Dolly Parton performed at the Academy Awards earlier this year, there was some chatter about her latest round of plastic surgery -- on the face, not the boobs. Despite my thoughts that she looked ridiculous -- almost clown-like -- it seemed like most people were giving the work a thumbs up.

Well, people, look at the picture included in this post, taken at last night's Kennedy Center tribute, and tell me you still think Dolly looks good. She doesn't!

But Dolly wasn't the most ridiculous thing at last night's tribute. Surprisingly, Jessica Simpson was:

Jessica Simpson botched Sunday evening's Kennedy Center tribute to Dolly Parton, abruptly finishing the song "Nine to Five" with the words "so nervous" and quickly exiting, to no applause.

She was in tears when she and the other singers in the tribute came back out.

Acid reflux?

Anyone reading this blog can easily tell that The Kettle likes his TV. Not the actual applicance itself, but the group of shows on TV that he never misses (or, being the totally old school non-TiVo guy he is, sets his VCR for if he's out). I'm slightly different. I don't really have a must-see show that I'll rush home to see, set my VCR for (don't own one, and never got TiVo) or not answer the phone while watching. That said, I'm a sucker for an episode of Law and Order (the original or SVU; Criminal Intent, not so much) and the Bravo reality-ish shows of Project Runway and Top Chef. I can also easily get stuck watching Little People Big World as well. The last show I tried to watch on the night it was actually on was Arrested Development. My watching lasted one season and the show not much more than that (despite The Kettle's petitions and letter writing campaign to keep it on the air).

With all that said, I get to the point of this post. A week or so ago, I ended up watching 3 or 4 re-run episodes of the show So Notorious, the VH1 faux reality show based on Tori Spelling's over-the-top life. It was very funny and a great watch. I even saw that the first season is now out on DVD. I was excited! A show for me to watch! I even wondered when the second season was starting!

Well, its not. I saw in this morning's USA Today that the show has been cancelled.

Yes, Cancelled. Why? Who knows. Maybe it was the ratings? Maybe the network needed to make room for additional seasons of Flavor of Love, Hogan Knows Best or Breaking Bonaduce? Maybe the gays didn't like it as much as I thought?

Well, unless Bravo steps in to save it, it looks like we'll have to savor the few episodes that were made and wait for Tori to finish her book. In it she plans to dish about her plastic surgery, her big partying days, her romantic relationships, her finances and her family. Hopefully the So Notorious writers will be ghostwriting.

With his website -- which contests several of the stories ex-governor Jim McGreevey made in his book The Confession -- up and running, Golan Cipel is now hitting the interview circuit to, we guess, tell his side of the McGreevey-Cipel sordid sex story. First it was with WCBS in New York. Last night it was a national audience on CNN's Larry King Live.

So what did Golan have to say about McGreevey? Well, among other things, he doesn't believe that McG is gay. Yep. Bisexual is more like it:

"I believe that Jim McGreevey is bisexual. But, Larry, can you imagine this dramatic press conference when James McGreevey's coming out and saying that the truth is, I'm proud to be a bisexual American."

That's not all. Cipel went as far as to say that McGreevey's coming out was "part of the spin" to take the public's attention away from his threatened sexual harassment lawsuit:

I think McGreevey had no choice. There was a sexual harassment lawsuit against him. He didn't know what to do. And his adviser told him come out first. If you come out first, you will be perceived as the victim. You control of the story. That's what he chose to do.

With that comment, we're guessing Golan isn't a fan of Sex and the City or never saw the episode where Carrie Bradshaw instructed us, while attempting to date an attractive "bisexual" guy, that "bisexual is just one stop on the way to gay town."

McGreevey issued a statement after the interview. He said "I stand behind the truth and accuracy of every word in this book" and "My only wish for Golan is that he find peace and acceptance in his life."

More on the Cipel interview here and here.