The Pot and The Kettle

So Nicole Ritchie was drunk driving and Lindsay Lohan is an alcoholic. Nothing too noteworthy there, when you think about it. Hell, even panty-less Britney Spears isn't that revolutionary with her antics. So, here is a girl who actually needs real help and an intervention. Stat.

Natasha Lyonne was once so promising. In my opinion, she was the funniest (and most bitter) part of American Pie. She was the one who said of masturbation, "You've never double-clicked your mouse?" Or when bright-eyed Tara Reid wanted her first time to be at the right place in the right moment, Lyonne quipped, "Settle, this isn't a space shuttle launch. It's just sex." (Thanks imdb!) And then Slums of Beverly Hills totally put her on the map! She was going places.

Cut to drinking, drugs, etc. etc. and now this...Threatening to molest her neighbor's dog. On the one hand, that is kinda funny, if you have an annoying neighbor with an annoying dog. Seems like I would laugh if I heard that one. I might even root for others to make such a threat. But maybe, on the other hand, thinking about it a but more closely, it is all just too bizarre.

There really is nothing to be gained by molesting a dog. So, maybe let's not make that threat.

'American Pie' Actress Turns Herself In
By Jeanne King

NEW YORK (Dec. 15) - Actress Natasha Lyonne, the star of "American Pie" accused of threatening to sexually molest a dog, turned herself in at a New York court on Friday.

A bench warrant was issued for her arrest in January after Lyonne, who has also appeared in "Blade," and "Scary Movie 2," missed four court hearings.

The 27-year-old faced a number of charges including criminal mischief, harassment and trespassing after accusations she threatened to sexually molest her former neighbor's dog and ripped a mirror off the wall during a 2004 argument.

At the Manhattan Criminal Court appearance, drug counselor Heather Hayes said Lyonne had completed an in-patient drug program in February and continued to attend outpatient rehabilitation groups.

Judge Anthony Ferrara said the charges would be dropped if the actress stayed out of trouble for the next six months.

In the court complaint, Lyonne's former roommate claimed Lyonne trashed their apartment and then banged on a neighbor's door, rushed into that apartment and picked up her dog, telling the woman, "I'm going to sexually molest your dog."

Lyonne pleaded guilty in 2002 to driving under the influence of alcohol in Miami. She was fined, sentenced to six months probation and 50 hours community service.