The Pot and The Kettle

So Paris is out of jail. I can't say I am surprised it was a headliner. Fine. That's fair. But this report has got to be, hands down, the most moronic, imbecile, waste of time, space, air, piece of s*&!t bit of non-news I ever was so pained to witness.

Enjoy.

Shame on Access Hollywood. Shame on all of us.

Staff members at Newark, New Jersey's East Side High School used markers to black out a picture of a male student kissing his boyfriend from all copies of the school's yearbook before they were distributed to students this week. According to Marion A. Bolden, Newark's superintendent of schools, the photograph of Andre Jackson kissing his boyfriend David Escobales in the yearbook was "illicit" and looked provocative.

Labels: Marion Bolden, New Jersey, Newark

It's Wimbledon time! In order to make this a more pleasant read, I will try to be more concise. My expert analysis of each quarter may be superfluous. But I will give myself snaps for doing the best ever in my French Open pics. I was all over Ana Ivanovic in the finals! She had me pumped when she broke in the opening game... we all know what happened then. I digress.

Ok, so of note, Federer is looking to win his 5th straight Wimbledon and he will. Justine is looking to win her first and she won't. And Serena has already thrown down the gauntlet!

Wimbledon Predictions 2007, baby!
Round of 16: Federer over Haas; Blake over some surprise; Roddick over Ljubicic; Andy Murray over Benjamin Becker; Bagh over Davydenko; Hewitt over Djokovic; Bjorkman over Berdych; Nadal over Youzhny. Poor poor Marat :-(
Quarters: Fed over Blake, ANDY MURRAY OR ANDY RODDICK! I am picking Murray. Hewitt over Bagh, Nadal over Bjorkman.
Semis: Fed over Murray, Hewitt over Nadal
Final: Fed over Hewitt. How did Hewitt get here?

LADIES
Round of 16: Henin over Schnyder; Serena over Hantuchova; Jankovic over Peer; Hingis over Chakvetadze; Ivanovic over Petrova; Mauresmo over Vaidisova; Golovin over Kutzy; Maria over Venus? What a match!
Quarters: Serena over Justine. YES! Jankovic over Hingis; Mauresmo over Ivanovic; Maria over Golovin
Semis: Serena over Jelena; Maria over Maurez
Final: Serena over Maria. Poor Maria

And Venus and Serena are playing doubles. This is awesome!


*******
Addendum: Andy Murray has withdrawn. Step up to the semifinals Mr. Roddick. But no further.

Labels: wimbledon predictions 2007

Tomorrow morning the Kettle goes to Bermuda! I think I already got my summer sunburn out of the way, so I do expect to get fully tanny. Supposably, sharks shouldn't be a problem. But tell that to the gang from Jaws II. Still there are jellyfish, eels, and that pesky Bermuda triangle. Fingers crossed! It would really suck to lose a limb. I am about to turn 30. Girl's got it rough as is!

Bob Dole would kill for this guy's problem:

A man has sued the maker of the health drink Boost Plus, claiming the vitamin-enriched beverage gave him an erection that would not subside and caused him to be hospitalized.

The lawsuit filed by Christopher Woods of New York said he bought the nutrition beverage made by the pharmaceutical company Novartis AG at a drugstore on June 5, 2004, and drank it.

Woods' court papers say he woke up the next morning "with an erection that would not subside" and sought treatment that day for the condition, called severe priapism. They say Woods, 29, underwent surgery for implantation of a Winter shunt, which moves blood from one area to another.

The lawsuit, filed late Monday, says Woods later had problems that required a hospital visit and penile artery embolization, a way of closing blood vessels. Closing off some blood flow prevents engorgement and lessens the likelihood of an erection.

Kinda funny that the guy's name is Woods.

Labels: Erection