Thursday, June 08, 2006

A long lost Bayside Beauty

Although I never want to speak for the pot, I am just going to throw out there that here at Pot ‘N Kettle, we are officially tired of celebrity news. Officially. Well, let me clarify, we are officially sick to death of TomKat, Brangelina, Jencent, and other wretched celebrity publicity stunt to painfully promote and throw down our throats such awful, self-absorbed people. There. I said it. I clearly speak for dozens. DOZENS!

Still, some celebrities can be crazy fun. So I am devoting this to a wayward celebrity who has unfortunately fallen off the map of fame. Lark Voorhies, better known to us as fashion-obsessing, buddy-band sewing, Screech-hating, acerbic wit throwing Lisa Turtle from Saved by the Bell, has finally (FINALLY!) resurfaced. And can I say, it’s about freakin’ time!?!?!?!? Why did Lisa make the news? Unfortunately, she isn’t being cast in a new CW sitcom, she hasn’t posed for Playboy, she isn’t hosting a Project Runway reality show rip-off, she didn’t give birth to a daughter she is naming Turtle. She isn’t even going on record for saying she will never participate in any more Saved By the Bell reunions, if God Forbid, they are in the proverbial works.

No, good old Lisa had to come out of acting retirement to defend herself against allegations of cocaine addiction. I refuse to believe it. But I also refuse to believe that these allegations have cost her numerous acting roles. Her career ended when gal-pal Tori randomly replace Kelly and Jesse, and then left with as little explanation as was given when she arrived.

So anyway, mull this over. But don’t spread the rumors because it is hurting her feelings, k? This coming from the girl who said:

Screech: You girls are lucky; wait 'til you see me in a wet t-shirt.
Lisa: Only if it involves you drowning.

Funner Lisa quotes include:
Lisa: If you don't get rid of Linda, I'm gonna throw her out the winda.
Lisa: Girl, if I were Leslie I woulda slapped you until my hand hurt, and then I woulda slapped you for making it hurt.

Can we please applaud early Saturday morning NBC TV for giving us such a strong black teenage diva clearly well before her time???

I'm not sure how I found your blog ... maybe you comment at Duane's or BfT? ... but you contributed greatly to today's Cocktail of the Week.

Lisa Turtle: Saturday A.M. Diva

Thanks, and I'll be back to read more. Funny stuff so far.
Aye. Yet why did they always try and pair her up with Screech?
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