The Pot and The Kettle

Just when I thought the Winter Olympics (TORINO!) would go by with nary a yawn, and a few hot speedskaters (I mean, have you seen those bodysuits? WOW!)... anyway, just when I was hoping they would be over and done with, I allowed myself to get sucked in. It really wasn't my fault. Every news broadcast in the country is promoting the hell out of people falling. Just this second, somewhere in Torino, someone fell. Trust me. It might only have been Uncle Angelo again, drunk on vino, but regular people and atheletes (or competitors, if you like) are falling like a ton of bronze medals. Unfortunately, it only makes the news if you smash your jaw into a floor of ice, but oh well.

So anyway, I have always been a sucker for a good, painful fall. And the brave faces people put on when they know the whole world has seen it, and reacted with either laughter or a shriek of "Oh No!" Oft clumsy myself, these ice dancers are really putting me to shame. I encourage any and all to tune in.

Still, that is not the reason for this blog. An added perk, yes. And let's not beat around the bush anymore. It is damn funny to see people fall, especially when the whole world is watching and a lot is riding on it. After all, if you are an American and you don't win the gold, you might as well just stay in Italy, because clearly you suck. I am mildly horrified, however, that the news is exploiting the fun of an Olympic fall as a draw to watch. They are really none too subtle about this. Anyway, it drew me in, and here is what I found. Scroll through some of those gems, and riddle me this. Is there really any difference between The Olympic Games, A Wild Night of Binge Drinking, or Good Old Porn?

a) Look at the costumes. Seriously... only in the Olympics... only if you're so drunk you're lucky your clothes are still on... and only in porn, if you're so UNlucky and your clothes are still on.
b) Hey! Let's contort our bodies into freaky poses just to out-perform the competetion! This is a good idea if you are in the Olympics, wasted, or in porn.
c)Let's have a contest to see how far we can toss this tiny little woman in the air and hope she lands on this sheet of ice on the tiny blades we strapped to her feet. No, that sounds horrible! Oh wait. Olympics... post-keg stand... maybe a Scandinavian porn, but hell yeah!
d)Let's barely disguise our latent, raging homosexuality. A good venue to showcase this might be in the Olympics, when you are totally shit-canned, or filming a porn.

I rest my case.