The Pot and The Kettle

Is it just me . . .

2008-09-27T20:02:00.003-04:00

or is Kenley of this season's Project Runway absolutely hateful?

"My fellow Americans, our long national nightmare is over"

2008-06-03T18:33:00.002-04:00

Please let the latest rumor about Hillary finally giving up on her futile attempt to be President be true!

Fergalicious, indeed.

2008-05-22T01:04:00.001-04:00

Jazz hands!

2008-04-22T08:48:00.003-04:00

My YouTube find of the day

2008-03-29T13:31:00.001-04:00

"These pretzels are making me thirsty"

2008-03-26T19:01:00.002-04:00

Hillz, turn it down a notch

2008-03-13T18:28:00.001-04:00

Easy does it girl.

Monster

2008-03-09T18:28:00.003-04:00

I think we need a slightly more photogenic president.

AUSSIE

2008-01-12T22:57:00.000-05:00

I will make this brief (and incorrect). Roger could be ailing, but most likely not. Serena is throwing down the gauntlet, again, but did she let me down too much last year? Davenport is back in action, only to get a 2nd round match against Maria Sharapova, who is questionable...maybe. Justine simply must be stopped at all costs. Nadal isn't doing it for me in Australia, neither is Djokovic. I am just not seeing much from them so soon in the season. Again, I will be wrong all over the place.

Mens: Quarters:
Federer over Gonzalez
Nalbandian over Tursunov
Murray over Youzhny
Roddick over Moya

Semis
Federer over Nalbandian
Murray over Roddick

Final: Federer over Murray
13th Slam, one more til a Sampras tie!

Women....Anyone, but Justine, remember!

Quarters: Henin over Sharapova
Serena over Schnyder
Venus over Ivanovic
Szavay over Safarova

Semis: Henin over Serena (ack!)
Venus over Szavay

Final: Venus over Justine.

Eat it, Justine

Carla gets it. Corzine doesn't.

2007-11-20T15:51:00.000-05:00

A few months ago, Governor Jon Corzine announced his support for full gay marriage in New Jersey but informed voters that he wouldn't seek such legislation until 2009.

Why the wait?

Well, de didn't want Democrats to have to deal with the issue during the 2008 election.

So let me get this straight (no pun intended), you'd rather not tackle difficult issues if it might just cost you a campaign win? Wow, really a man of honor.

I was pleased to see Corzine's ex-gal pal, Carla Katz, take him (and the New York Times) to task for this "justice delayed is ok if we win the White House" policy.

As Carla said: "The truth is, same-sex marriage is not a ‘gay' issue. It is a civil rights issue, pure and simple."

So Jon, stop being a petty partisan and fight for what you believe in.

People, Christmas Can Start in December

2007-11-10T13:28:00.000-05:00

Last I checked, November 9th does not the Christmas Season make. So then why two weeks ago did Macy*s have some Christmas decorations already up, and why pray tell, is Fred Claus opening this weekend?!!!? And I actually wouldn't mind seeing this movie....around Christmas though. I do root for Vince Vaughn, and lately Paul Giamatti, but nothing about this movie is acceptable anymore, right? This movie will be played out by Thanksgiving weekend and then what?

Christmas movies, etc. can start the day after Thanksgiving and that is at the earliest. And Thanksgiving even comes earlier this year, so maybe we should even through it back to the first or second week of December. It just doesn't make sense.

Box-office was a bit lackluster. $19 mill. Had it opened at a more appropriate time, when people wanted to see a Christmas movie, I am sure it would have done a lot better. This really isn't rocket-science. It is a Christmas-Vince Vaughn movie.

Wake-Up Call

2007-10-21T02:22:00.001-04:00

I guess it should come as a rude, but necessary, awakening, when Netflix cuts off your queue at 500. I just didn't know this was coming.
Ok, if this is God's way of telling me to put more energy in more relevant aspects of life, I guess I can accept that. But that doesn't mean I at all know how to execute.

This is all so Ally McBeal of me, btw.
Note: I am not in anyway complaining against the fine company Netflix or its 500titles-a-queue limit.

Final Thought: Wow.

3rd and Long

2007-10-20T12:49:00.001-04:00

Friday Night Lights? What is going wrong? It is pretty much the question of the fall season. The third episode of the FNL season has passed and there is a LOOONG way to go for this show to get back on track. Did they hire new writers? Not only are the story lines increasingly absurd, but even the dialogue has lost its ring of truth and poignancy and regularly falls flat, but in a cheesy kind of way. I will say most of the bad dialogue is coming from Julie, whose storyline has gone pretty far off the deep end.

anyway, here is what must stop:

1. Leila. She was just getting interesting and a lot darker. So why did the writers make her a born-again? Couldn't she have found another football dude to date? (not Riggins) Or just been more involved with taking care of her family or getting the hell out of Dylan. She is annoying again.
2. Riggins. Sure we can keep him a drunk, but I feel like everything out of his mouth has been said already. Can't we keep him consistent without becoming repetitive? Still, could his body be any hotter?
3. Julie. Whore. She used to be nice. If she was going to turn into a bitch, which is fine as the show is 8 months down the road, can you at least fill us in as to why. She has repeated several times, she feels she is turning into her mother. Does anyone have a clue as to how she has come to feel that way?
4. Saracen, perfect as always. However, it was revealed he is currently a junior. Which means last year he was a sophomore. I am sorry. That is impossible.
5. Jason Street. I like his relationship with the new coach, the mascot thing, and his dream of walking. Could that have been any cuter? This stem cell research plot has me nervous.
6. Smash. The writers have no idea what to do with this guy. He is entirely superfluous.
7. Tami and Eric. I guess this is just proving really difficult to have this long-distance relationship. Everything seems so random and haphazard. Tami as the weaker, more vulnerable character is weird to witness. Get Eric home. Maybe this will fix everything.
8. Tyra and Landry. Good Lord. The season opening murder may have already put the final nail in the coffin. I hope not. But it wreaks of sappy WB/I Know What You Did Last Summer. I am all for Tyra's development from party girl to a nicer, more down to earth person. Still she would never go for Landry.
9. Can there be any new blood on the show? Again, a new bf for Leila. The new love interest for Saracen is his grandmother's maid? How about a girl in school? Shocking!

Anyway, woe are we.

I'd Settle...

2007-10-06T11:05:00.001-04:00

for thirty and dirty (and thriving)

"I wanna be Thirty, flirty and thriving!"

2007-09-26T10:48:00.000-04:00

In today's issue of Poise Magazine: "Thirty, flirty and thriving. Why the 30s are the best years of your life."

Happy birthday, Kettle.

One degree of Lance, Kevin and Reade

2007-09-25T14:19:00.000-04:00

What is my connection to Lance Armstrong, Kevin Bacon and Reade Seligmann?

Public transportation.

Yep. My most recent celebrity public transit experience came last week when I was flying back from Austin, Texas on Continental Airlines flight 251. I was in seat 2F. Lance Armstrong was in 2A. When we arrived at Newark's Liberty International Airport, Lance was right in front of me walking off the plane. A man was waiting for him and they jumped on one of those airport carts and took off through the terminal. I never thought Lance was particularly attractive, but in person he is kind of hot.

My prior celebrity transit experience came in the late spring when Reade Seligmann, the former Duke University student and lacrosse player from New Jersey who was accused (and then completely exonerated) in the now infamous "Duke rape case." Reade was all decked out in a suit as he boarded the NJ Transit 320 bus into Manhattan. It was standing room only so Reade stood right next to my seat. Reade is as cute as he looks in pictures. A little dorky though for a tough guy Division I athlete.

My first celebrity transit experience was several years ago on an Amtrack Metroliner train from Philadelphia to New York. Sitting at one end of the car I was in was Kevin Bacon and his kids. His kids did a lot of running up and down the aisle during the trip. Kevin smiled and said hello as he walked past me on his way to the Cafe Car. Total sweatheart!

I'm crossing my fingers for Madonna one day.

Adventures in Babysitting: There's No Place Like Home

2007-09-19T18:53:00.000-04:00

Has anyone missed me? Did anyone even notice I was gone...
The Kettle, an accomplished babysitter, was on call, just shy of one week, and by on-call, I mean held captive in the recesses of snooty Upper Montclair. It was an eye-opening experience, and once again, I am eternally grateful my parents are/were:
a)not crazy - relatively speaking
b)not lazy, absentee parents
c)not richer than God wanted anyone to be
d)not enablers

So thanks, T&D!

They also taught me how to turn off a television, utilize an alarm clock, read, and not sleep in my own trash. Remarkable

For those who anxiously awaited my Emmy pics, I am sorry I did not follow through. If it makes you feel better, I would have gotten 3 correct. I did, however, open a word document on my laptop and jot down random thoughts about the broadcast, as I watched alone in my servant quarters. These thoughts are available if any interest is expressed.

In a nutshell...
Ryan Seacrest is god-awful and should be hanged.
Ellen and Steve Carell should do all the talking.
Ray Romano should not.
Mary Louise Parker can clean up reeeeal good.
Katherine Heigl needs to avoid the crazy red shade of lipstick.
Ryan Seacrest should be hanged and beaten.
Sally Field is a shrieking, screeching hag. I have no problem with her anti-war theme, but really, must she shriek and screech like a hag?

Maria Will Be Wearing Red

2007-08-26T20:49:00.000-04:00

The US Open. And the pot 'n kettle are going! Good times. Good picks:

Men
First Quatrain: Everyone wants the #1Federer/#5Roddick quarter and everyone will get it. First test for Fed will be #21Juan Carlos, which may go 4 sets. Roddick will cruise to the quarters. First round match has Fed against, Scoville Jenkins, who was America's sweetheart for the past two years, falling to Nadal, and Roddick in early night rounds. He is cool. No tennis blog will ever be complete now with a nod to the hotness of Robert Kendrick. Just an aside.
Fed over Roddick

Second Quatrain: Probably the most open quarter. At #4 Davydenko is still not that dominant. #6 Blake is the crowd fave, but sporadic. #14 Canas is on his drug comeback, #19 Andy Murray has done well, but not a very good year. Lingering is #10 Haas, hot but inconsistent, and then a resurging, in my opinion, Baghdatis, somehow seeded #18. I like him a lot. Bagh against Blake in the third round could be the craziest fan match ever.
Bagh over Davydenko

Third Quatrain: Probably the first time #3 Djok is considered a real potential at a major. Why then does that make me think he is going to lose early? Eh, hard to say, but I wouldnt be surprised. #16 Lleyton could be a ton of trouble for him.
I am picking this one to really bust open #16 Hewitt over #17 Moya
Stupid? Probably.

Fourth Quatrain. The world has been waiting for Nadal to do anything at the US Open. Will he? Eh, hard to have much faith in him. He did nothing this summer on the hard courts and word is he is pretty banged up. Safin is also here, btw and my new love Frank Dancevic
#7 Gonzalez over Nadal. Who knows.

Semis: Federer over Bagh; Hewitt over Gonzo
Final: Federer over Hewitt. I think I picked this as the Wimbledon final as well. I just never learn.

Women. The women simply need to step it up. And stay un-injured. This has been a ridiculous year, and lately is crazy beyong belief. And yet, Justine won the french, Venus won Wimbledon, and Serena won Aussie. I am sure everyone has heard about the all out slugfest in the top half. Annoyingly, Justine still might get through. Plus we have to decide if we want an all Serb quarter? or an all Williams semi? UGH!

First Quatrain: Like the Roddick/Fed quarter so is the #8Serena/#1Justine ultimate smackdown. Third slam in a row, mind you, this year they met in the quarters. I have picked Justine to lose and she hasn't yet. Ugh. Oh and #10 Marion Bartoli: 15 minutes, bye bye. We really like #20Safarova by the way.
Serena over Justine

Second Quatrain: This section is unreal. I can't really say more. It is kind of unfair for everyone here. Not only could any of em be a favorite to win; I think they are all my fave players on the tour right now? Is that possible? #3 Jankovic, #5 Ivanovic and #12 Venus. I feel that Jankovic is currenty the healthiest player and absolutely the fittest player. Which makes me happy and also makes me think she should be rewarded. #29 Sam Stosur is a cutey-pie
Janky over Venus

Third Quatrain: What the hell is going on here? #4 Kutzy is not a safe bet for anything, neither is #7 Nadia or #9 Pretty Hantuchova. Plus we got #16 Hingis here, trying, trying, trying. So we have 3 power players who are mental F-ups, and little Hingy who just can't hit a ball hard no matter what. As always I will go with my heart.
Hingis over Petrova

Fourth Quatrain: Yes #2 Sharapova lucked out, but let's give some credit to some of these players here, especially #6 Anna Chakvedatze. 1. She is cute and Russian and more similar to Anna Kournikova than Sharapovs. Still Sharapovs is hotter. 2. She ate up the summer tourneys til she got fatigued. And now that I know how to pronounce her last name, I love it even more. #13 Vaidisova is also around and could be a problem in the 4th round for Maria. But Maria somehow makes it to latest stages of slams. And only loses to a Williams.
Maria over Chak.

Semis: Serena over Jank (when will she get it all together!) Sharpova destroying Hingis
Final, in a repeat of the Aussie, Serena over Maria

From the streets of Gotham

2007-08-24T12:42:00.000-04:00

I would ventue to say that this guy is one of Batman's biggest fans. And likely someone who spends a full week's vacation at Comic-Con every year.

Battle of the Network Gays

2007-08-22T20:36:00.000-04:00

Earlier this month, Sara Gilbert, who brilliantly played acerbic daughter Darlene, on Roseanne, and was nominated twice for Emmy, had her second child with her partner Allison Adler. I believe Darlene, I mean Sara, had this child, Sawyer, a girl, and Allison had their first son, Levi.

Just last night, I watched Third Man Out, which was a made for Canadian TV movie starring Chad Allen as a gay private eye. So popular was this first movie, and apparently the books it is adapted from, that this character, Donald Strachey, is being developed into a gay movie franchise. Its second installment, A Shock to the System, was released on DVD in February and costars Morgan Fairchild. The movie wasn't great. It wasn't horrible. It was fun gay skinemax material. Go Chad, whom I have loved since My Two Dads, by the way.

Lastly Danny Pintauro has never been heard from, but I really wish he would start dating Chip from Kate and Allie, who is allegedly straight still.

Stealing Winona Ryder

2007-08-17T10:43:00.000-04:00

A funny thing happened at the grocery store. Now, if you know me, as none of you do, you know that I never ever have a smooth, tension-free trip to the grocery store. I am like a Greek tragic hero, whom the gods have cursed to always have horrendous experiences there. You may remember my post, "The Kettle Goes to ShopRite...Trouble Usually Follows." So one of my latest trips to the grocer was accordingly not without event.

As always, I managed to pick the slowest, most backwards lane ever. At the end of my lane happened to be the little on-sale DVD's. Perused I did, and I found the last copy of majestic film The Age of Innocence, book by Edith Wharton. Did I really need to own this movie though? I weighed my options. One, Winona Ryder is fantastic, and robbed of her Oscar by the elfin Piano girl. Two, and more importantly is the fact that I would love to one day teach the text and for that, as any good teacher will tell you, a movie is essential! ;-) And the movie was only $9.99! What a steal! (keep reading)

So I put the movie in my cart, in the little seat for crying babies, painfully waited to get through the line and went out to my car. Cut to my cute little kitchen, and me unpacking groceries, I thought, "Where is The Age of Innocence?" It was nowhere to be found. And as I thought about it more, I remembered that I never took it from the cart onto the conveyor belt and my total was much too low to have included a 9.99 movie. Verdict: Stolen movie!

So now I was really interested, as you cannot comprehend the excitement I felt at having stolen a Winona Ryder movie. I wished, right then and there, that I was overmedicated on prescription pills. I wished I could say, "But I am playing a thief in my next movie, and this is research!" I wished I could have plead to the authorities, "I thought I paid for that." And he would have retorted, "Not quite the age of innocence." (wink wink/nudge nudge). There were just so many exciting things to think of and say.

Anyhow, the story isn't as exciting as the thievery would suggest. It wasn't in any of my bags. It definitely wasn't on my receipt (HA!). So I had to assume it was still in the shopping cart, the shopping cart which I meticulously, in accordance with the rules and like a good civilian, returned to the Shopping Cart Drop Off, and didn't horrendously prop up against the curb like a selfish person who was not raised properly.

Posh's book club?

2007-08-09T09:38:00.000-04:00

Move over Oprah, there seems to be a new book-selling guru in town: Posh Spice (a/k/a Victoria Beckham).

According to the Drudge Report:

POSH PUSHES BOOK TO #1 NYT BESTSELLERS LIST -- JUST BY HOLDING IT! 'SKINNY BITCH' TO TOP CHARTS NEXT WEEK, PUBLISHING SOURCE TELLS DRUDGE . . .

According to The Sun, "[s]ales of Skinny Bitch soared by 674 per cent on Amazon after Victoria Beckham was spotted with a copy in Los Angeles at the weekend."

As of this morning, the Amazon.com Sales Rank for the book is #8. It's #11 on Barnes & Noble's website.

Does this mean Posh reads?

The Greatest Whore of All

2007-08-02T12:02:00.000-04:00

Ok, so my sister M and I frequently discuss the cinematic masterpiece Georgia. It is insane and scary and hilarious and poignant and excellent and sad, etc. We are kind of in love with Jennifer Jason Leigh in it. Totally robbed of an Oscar, let alone a nom, but it was a crazy great year that year for the ladies with Susan Sarandon (Dead Man Walking) besting Meryl Streep doing Italian in Bridges, Sharon Stone's one shot at respectability in Casino (which in hindsight was just a lot of good yelling), Elisabeth Shue in Leaving Las Vegas (so good, so sad...and when are Shue and Jennifer Jason going to play sisters already?), and finally Emma Thompson as the world's oldest 19 year old in Sense and Sensibility.

Anyway, M and I adore JJL because she is always such trash. And that's when it dawned on me, a theory if you will. My hypothesis is that Jennifer Jason Leigh has played more hookers than any other actress. Now, understand the rules, a slut who just gets around is not a prostitute. A crazy, trashy gal is not a prostitute. A prostitute gets paid for sexual favors. End of story.

So, let's discuss what JJL brings to the contest
1. Last Exit to Brooklyn. Her most famous hooker and maybe the most infamous hooker of all. She was just such a mess.
2. Miami Blues. She chose to play this hooker half-retarded. Interesting choice.
3. The Machinist. A latter career hooker! Brave.
4. Death Ride to Osaka. Thanks for that one amazon! I never would have known.
5. Short Cuts. She got paid for phone sex. That counts. Unless I hear otherwise.

That's as far as I've gotten.
The jury is still out if having sex for drugs counts. She would add Georgia and possibly another handful.

If anyone would like to posit other actresses to contend, by all means.
If anyone even mentions Julia Roberts, please rethink everything about your life.

2 Months til 30

2007-07-26T12:17:00.000-04:00

My 20's were so early 2000 anyway.

First sign I am in my 30's.....glasses! My dilfy eye doctor said upon meeting me for the the first time, "Well, Paul, you almost made it to 30." I would have hated him if he wasn't a potential dilf.

I officially have 2 months to go til I am 30. I don't think I mind just yet, but I am in denial, because we all know that being a 30year old just doesn't make sense for me. There is practically nothing adult about my life - except the movies I like. Zinger.

When chatting with someone recently, I told him I didn't believe in goals. His goal for me was annoying and overstepped many many boundaries, but then he got freaky angry with me for not believing in goals. I did one time think I might finish my MA before I turned 30. That ain't happening, but things may work well to at least finish it while I am still 30. So that could be something kinda. Most people are able to do it when they are like 25, but so what. I am all about jinxing myself anyway. I need to do something to provide excitement for me.

More on my trek to Planet 30 soonish.

Netflix Apologizes....Not

2007-07-25T17:59:00.000-04:00

Here's a rundown of the netflix brouhaha disaster.

1. Netflix.com went back up late Tuesday afternoon, Eastern Time.
2. They did in fact receive The Diary of Anne Frank. Phew. We are very surprised about that given yesterday's mass-hysteria.
3. They said they were mailing my next movie, The Man Who Loved Women yesterday (Tuesday) so that it would arrive today Wednesday. They either 3a) didn't mail it, 3b) mailed it extra slow or 3c) mailed it from Oklahoma City instead of fun, close New Brunswick, New Jersey because it is not in my mailbox today.
4. Today they should have received All of Me, a stupid Steve Martin movie, to be remade with Queen Latifah in the Lily Tomlin role and Martin perhaps reprising his own role. Incredibly dumb, right? Right. They did receive All of Me today, but they also should have received The Departed as I mailed it at the exact same time from the exact same mailbox. Somehow, they didn't get it. Ridonkulous.
5. According to Yahoo news:

Hoping to retain more of its current customers while enticing new subscribers, Netflix is decreasing monthly fees by $1 on its two most popular plans to match Blockbuster's prices for comparable Internet-only services.

Love the idea in theory, but why only $1 off its two most popular subscriptions? Of the two, I subscribe to neither of those plans. This selective deal-making and seems like I am living in feudal times. Silly idea, netflix. I mean, I want a dollar off, or at least my movies to be sent and received in a timely manner.
6. I think it would be fun if netflix sent all of their subscribers a fun apology email, don't you? Maybe the power of the blog will make that happen.

Breaking News: Netflix Website Still Unavailable

2007-07-24T16:59:00.000-04:00

Here at Pot 'N Kettle, we are closely - CLOSELY - tracking this story. The Netflix website has been down since last night (Monday). Frequent visits to the website have issued times when it was expected to be up and running again. Those times seem to be changing continuously. Originally, the website was to back live Monday, then early Tuesday morning, now we are looking Tuesday afternoon. Currently, the website is not even giving a time when it expects to be back up, only the following message:

The Netflix web site is temporarily unavailable. We apologize for any inconvenience this causes you. Please visit us again soon. You can contact Netflix Customer Service at 1-888-638-3549.

Curiouser and curiouser. Apparently the website went down as Netflix was updating its computers to reflect price drops. If the price of my subscription drops, I will probably overlook this whole thing. I have a feeling it won't though. We'll see. Or maybe we won't see anytime soon. The price drop will only be for new customers or some other bogus idea.

In an article from the washingtonpost.com, one can find the following bits of news as well: To make matters worse [falling stocks], Netflix's Web site _ the hub of its rental system _ went down Monday evening and remained inaccessible as of Tuesday afternoon (EDT). Spokesman Steve Swasey attributed the outage to an unanticipated problem that he declined to describe. Engineers hoped to fix the trouble by 2 p.m. EDT.

I am not going to criticize Netflix's customer service just yet, because I find its website pretty top-notch on the whole, and they almost always respond to my emails. Its speediness has frustrated me in the past, however; as the website has chosen to either not reflect returns they have received from me, and/or decided to ship me movies days later than they should have, from obscure locations (Tacoma, Seattle, Sante Fe, what have you).

Today they should have received from The Diary of Anne Frank - which was ok, if angelic Anne Frank was a tickle grating. Shelley Winters somehow won an Oscar for an amazingly minimal role. Even if the website is down, I would imagine they could still process my new movie, right? We'll see, but I am not optimistic. Tomorrow they should receive from me The Departed and All of Me. My parents have had The Departed for a relatively short amount of time - for them - as they tend to ask me for good movies, only to never watch them, and then screw up everything. All of Me was a horrible mess, but I couldnt help wanting to know how it ended. Alas.

Updates soon. This is more exciting than the NYC pipe explosion coverage. This is the kind of slip that may make me go running to Blockbuster. Just kidding! I would never revert to that infringement franchise! Long Live Netflix.

Snap Out of It, China!

2007-07-23T19:24:00.000-04:00

The 2008 Olympics are nearly upon us. It will be a mess. A big Communist mess. as we learned from Animal Farm. And once again, everything bad in the world all comes down to Animal Farm.

First we heard of the tricky problem of ticket prices. No one in China can afford to go, not even when tickets are going as cheaply as $16!

But even at these rates, Olympic seats will be too expensive for many of China's 1.3billion citizens, who live on less than $350 a year.

However, the prices will be highly affordable for the country's rapidly growing middle class - those earning at least $10,000 a year, most of whom live in Beijing, Shanghai and Guangzhou.
Li Qian, 28, a professional who lives in Beijing, said the tickets were cheap. "To watch an Olympic Games is a once-in-a lifetime experience. [The cost] is nothing - it's the cost of admission to a dance party or a dinner with friends. I pay [about the same] for one session of yoga in Beijing." Citation

What is Li doing even going to Yoga!!?!? That's a story for another time, I suppose, but I can't imagine the Animal Farm chickens would be able to go to the Olympics, let alone do fun yoga.

Second, we have this fun story: Olympic organizers want the Chinese people to be nicer.

With most venues for the 2008 Summer Olympics near completion, organisers said Beijingers still had to work on improving their behaviour in order to hold a successful Games, state press said Monday.

"The Olympic Games is not simply a matter of competitive sports -- it is also a question of raising the quality of the people," the China Youth Daily quoted Zhang Faqiang, vice head of the Beijing Olympic organising committee as saying.

Damn. Smackdown on rude China. The quality of the people need to be raised. This won't be the fun Lillehammer Olympic village I guess.

3. And most bizarre. China wants to ensure nice Olympic weather. Which is a nice intent. But in an freaky Mr. Burns blacking out the sun kind-of idea, here is how they want to produce nice weather: Cloud-scaring rockets.

China will fire rockets into the sky to scatter any rain clouds ahead of next year's Beijing Olympics to ensure perfect weather, state media said on Tuesday.

China has already guaranteed perfect weather for the August 2008 Games, but until now had not said how it would make sure its forecast comes true.

Zheng Guoguang, head of the China Meteorological Association, announced the decision to use rockets in Beijing on Monday, the China Daily said.

Exsqueeze me, Zheng? This seems a tickle extreme. If this were Ok, wouldn't say Wimbledon, major gold tourneys, hell, even the commercially driven Superbowl want to employ these nice weather rockets? How about some rockets to drive some manners into the Chinese, which I guess is necessary as well?

I digress. Lindsay Davenport is maybe eyeing a U.S. Doubles spot. 2008 is gonna need some joy like this, as it will be headache inducing political year.

But don't call her 'Pammy'

2007-07-18T21:03:00.000-04:00

Emmy Noms!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wimbledon Update

2007-07-03T17:03:00.000-04:00

This is what we love about Wimbledon.

This is what we hate.

Honestly, the stupidest thing EVER

2007-06-28T18:24:00.000-04:00

So Paris is out of jail. I can't say I am surprised it was a headliner. Fine. That's fair. But this report has got to be, hands down, the most moronic, imbecile, waste of time, space, air, piece of s*&!t bit of non-news I ever was so pained to witness.

Enjoy.

Shame on Access Hollywood. Shame on all of us.

Problems with the yearbook

2007-06-25T13:34:00.000-04:00

Staff members at Newark, New Jersey's East Side High School used markers to black out a picture of a male student kissing his boyfriend from all copies of the school's yearbook before they were distributed to students this week. According to Marion A. Bolden, Newark's superintendent of schools, the photograph of Andre Jackson kissing his boyfriend David Escobales in the yearbook was "illicit" and looked provocative.

Take a look for yourself (picture at left).

It's a simple smooch on the lips.

There isn't even any tongue!!!!!

Illicit my ass.

Update: Marion Bolden has issued an apology for the picture's "blackout."

Disadvantage, Ms. Henin

2007-06-24T11:00:00.000-04:00

It's Wimbledon time! In order to make this a more pleasant read, I will try to be more concise. My expert analysis of each quarter may be superfluous. But I will give myself snaps for doing the best ever in my French Open pics. I was all over Ana Ivanovic in the finals! She had me pumped when she broke in the opening game... we all know what happened then. I digress.

Ok, so of note, Federer is looking to win his 5th straight Wimbledon and he will. Justine is looking to win her first and she won't. And Serena has already thrown down the gauntlet!

Wimbledon Predictions 2007, baby!
Round of 16: Federer over Haas; Blake over some surprise; Roddick over Ljubicic; Andy Murray over Benjamin Becker; Bagh over Davydenko; Hewitt over Djokovic; Bjorkman over Berdych; Nadal over Youzhny. Poor poor Marat :-(
Quarters: Fed over Blake, ANDY MURRAY OR ANDY RODDICK! I am picking Murray. Hewitt over Bagh, Nadal over Bjorkman.
Semis: Fed over Murray, Hewitt over Nadal
Final: Fed over Hewitt. How did Hewitt get here?

LADIES
Round of 16: Henin over Schnyder; Serena over Hantuchova; Jankovic over Peer; Hingis over Chakvetadze; Ivanovic over Petrova; Mauresmo over Vaidisova; Golovin over Kutzy; Maria over Venus? What a match!
Quarters: Serena over Justine. YES! Jankovic over Hingis; Mauresmo over Ivanovic; Maria over Golovin
Semis: Serena over Jelena; Maria over Maurez
Final: Serena over Maria. Poor Maria

And Venus and Serena are playing doubles. This is awesome!

*******
Addendum: Andy Murray has withdrawn. Step up to the semifinals Mr. Roddick. But no further.

Off To Bermuda!

2007-06-15T16:57:00.000-04:00

Tomorrow morning the Kettle goes to Bermuda! I think I already got my summer sunburn out of the way, so I do expect to get fully tanny. Supposably, sharks shouldn't be a problem. But tell that to the gang from Jaws II. Still there are jellyfish, eels, and that pesky Bermuda triangle. Fingers crossed! It would really suck to lose a limb. I am about to turn 30. Girl's got it rough as is!

Chris Woods's permanent woody

2007-06-07T22:45:00.000-04:00

Bob Dole would kill for this guy's problem:

A man has sued the maker of the health drink Boost Plus, claiming the vitamin-enriched beverage gave him an erection that would not subside and caused him to be hospitalized.
The lawsuit filed by Christopher Woods of New York said he bought the nutrition beverage made by the pharmaceutical company Novartis AG at a drugstore on June 5, 2004, and drank it.
Woods' court papers say he woke up the next morning "with an erection that would not subside" and sought treatment that day for the condition, called severe priapism. They say Woods, 29, underwent surgery for implantation of a Winter shunt, which moves blood from one area to another.
The lawsuit, filed late Monday, says Woods later had problems that required a hospital visit and penile artery embolization, a way of closing blood vessels. Closing off some blood flow prevents engorgement and lessens the likelihood of an erection.

Kinda funny that the guy's name is Woods.

Will The Mighty Fall

2007-05-28T14:26:00.000-04:00

French Open Predictions 2007

So psyched for a messy, red mud-filled Roland Garros. Vive La Slam. Most likely the field of 128 men and 128 women comes down to 4. Those 4 are Rafael Nadal, Roger Fed, Justine Henin (not Hardenne!) and some surprise woman. Let's cut to the chase. The sooner I get this over with, the sooner mistakes can be made. I am being conservative and traditional with these pics. For credibility's sake.

1st Quarter: Seeds: #1 Fed, #7 Ivan Ljubicic, #9 Tommy Robredo, #17 Juan Carlos, #22 Hot Marat
Fed should do well. Ljubicic doesn't do it for me anymore. Interesting 3rd Round between Robredo and Safin. I will go with Safin to then get to the quarters.
Q: Federer over Safin
2nd Quarter: Seeds: #4 Nikolay Davydenko, #5 Fernando Gonzalez, #15 David Nalbandian, #19 Guillermo Canas, Unseeded Compatriot: Gael Monfils
Pretty Open Quarter. I guess recent drug addict Canas is the one to beat. Davydenko and Nalbandian are so interchangeable to me. I like Monfils quite a bit, mostly for his name. The winner of the fourth round Canas/Gonzalez is in the quarters. Can Canas do it and then beat Fed in the semis??? I feel the draw will be kinder to Fed at that point, but it is looking hard for old Roger.
Q: Gonzalez over Davydenko
3rd Quarter: Seeds: #3 Roddick, #6 Djokovic, #12 David Ferrer, #16 Baghy, and unseeded Ginepri!
Djokovic should rule from the top down. Let's root for a hellluva fun 4th round match of Roddick/Bagdahtis.
Q:Djokovic over Bagh
4th Quarter: Seeds: #2 Nadal, #8 Blake, #14 Hewitt, Past Winners #23 Moya and unseeded Guadio
Nadal will have Lleyton in the 4th round, who had him on the ropes this month. Sadly Rafa will make it through. I am going to go with Gaudio to be the not so surprising unseed. Sorry, Jimmy Blake.
Q: Nadal over Gaudio

Semis: I don't entirely agree with the Fed slump, but I don't trust him on clay. I am torn
Federer over Gonzalez. I would love Djokovic to take out Nadal. But he won't.
Finals: Federer v. Nadal
Winner: Nadal. Was this too by the book?
I full reserve the right to consider myself right if anyone mentioned here does well.

1st Quarter: Seeds: #1 Henin, #8 Serena, #10 Dinara, #16 Na Li
Let's call the tourney right here. If Serena can get past Dinara, which will be tough; Dinara will put up a fight! But the match of the tournament will be Angry, Loud and Proud Serena against annoying antics playing Justine. I feel Serena hates Sharapova a lot which is why she came out to destroy her in Melbourne. But for some reason Serena doesn't hate Justine enough and this will be too close!
Q: Serena over Justine
2nd Quarter: Seeds: #4 Jankovic, #6 Vaidisova, #11 Nadia, #13 Dementieva, #26 Venus, and a slew of dangerous 2nd tiers!
A very fun quarter. I think I am rooting for Jankovic to win it all. I am pulling for her, unless Amelie can put something together, which is doubtful. I would imagine Jankovic can cruise but she may buckle under the pressure. Which would annoy me a lot.
Q: Jankovic over Petrova
3rd Quarter: Seeds: #3 Kutzy, #7 Ivanovic, #12 Hot Hantuchova, #15 Isreali Peer, #24 Medina-Garriques, and MYSKINA! Did we know she still played?
I have 0 faith in Kutzy to really do anything. I think she is so streaky and it is baffling that she is #3 in the world. This Medina girl seems dangerous.
Q: Ivanovic over Kutzy
4th Quarter: Seeds: #2 Sharapova, #5 Maurez, #9 Anna Chakvetadze, #14 Patty Schnyder, #22 Alona Bondarenko
Probably the most baffling quarter. Sharapova can't play on clay and Mauresmo can't play in Paris. Some of these other names? No idea.
Q: Bondarenko over Mauresmo
Semis: Serena over Jankovic; Ivanovic over Bondarenko
Finals: Serena over Ana

Wherever the chips may fall.

Alicia snubs Elisabeth

2007-05-25T09:00:00.001-04:00

We love Alicia Silverstone, pretty much only because of her role as Cher in the 90's classic movie Clueless. We love her even though her career has pretty much sucked since.

With that said, the petty snub Alicia threw the View's Elisabeth Hasselbeck the other day was fairly ridiculous. I've never really understood why people who disagree on politics can't still be civil to each other and afford each other common courtesies.

I hate to have to say this, but grow up Alicia.

Mermaid Problems

2007-05-22T21:35:00.000-04:00

I won't go through the whole history of The Little Mermaid, because frankly it isn't terribly interesting, but I am going to assume everyone out there, did at least know that it was, in fact, a book first. Hans Christian Andersen, holla! This was millions of years before Disney created that slut Ariel, who turned into quite the cashcow for them. But hey, she was kinda hot. Still is. But when you think about it, she is also a horribly role models for young girls.

Anyway, in Copenhagen, home of fableist Hans Christian (see above) there is a statue of the Little Mermaid. It is tiny, I've actually seen it, and entirely not worth it. But this statue has been through some serious s&*!

Here's what I thought you should know:

This statue has been vandalised several times, but has each time been restored. On 24 April 1964, the statue's head was sawn off and stolen by politically oriented artists of the situationist movement, amongst them Jørgen Nash. The head was never recovered and a new head was produced and placed on the statue. On 22 July 1984, her right arm was sawn off. The arm was returned 2 days later by two embarrassed young vandals. In 1990 another attempt was made to cut her head off, which resulted in an 18 cm deep cut in the neck. On 6 January 1998, she lost her head for the second time, the culprits were never found, but the head was returned anonymously to a nearby TV station, and on 4 February the head was back on.
Red paint has been thrown on her several times, including one episode in 1961 where her hair was painted red and a bra was painted on her. On 11 September 2003, the statue was blasted off its rock, possibly with dynamite. The Little Mermaid was also draped in a burka as a statement about Turkey joining the European Union. On March 8, 2006, a dildo was attached to the statue's hand, green paint was dumped over it, and the words March 8 were written on it. It is suspected that this vandalism has something to with International Women's Day (which is on March 8) and that it was committed by anti-feminists. On March 3, 2007, the statue was again covered with pink paint. Recently, Copenhagen officials have announced that the statue may be moved further out in the harbour, as to avoid vandalism and tourists climbing onto it. In May 2007, the statue was covered with paint by vandals. On May 20, 2007, it was found draped in a Muslim dress and head scarf.

Thanks Wikipedia. Roland Garros (French Open) picks imminently!

Bank of America's Giant Urinal

2007-05-16T20:23:00.000-04:00

Over the past 12+ months I've been watching the construction of the Bank of America Tower (also known as One Bryant Park) from my office window. The building, located on the corner of 42nd Street and 6th Avenue in Midtown Manhattan, is set to be completed sometime in 2008. Although the construction of the tower is fairly far along -- the structure currently reaches over 50-floors -- some things, like the enclosure of the upper floors, have not been completed yet.

This didn't bother me until about a week ago when, on a sunny afternoon, I looked out my office window and saw a construction worker relieving himself on a steel beam in the corner of the building.

Yep, he took a piss.

I didn't see the actual stream of urine, and I didn't see his, um, tool (although his welding iron was nearby), but I've pissed enough in my life to know what it looks like when a man does it. He was standing like he was taking a piss, his hands were in the pissing position and when he was done, I could see him do the post-piss shake before zipping up and walking back to work.

I was a little surprised with this act of semi-public urination. But since it was late in the afternoon and the work site was fairly empty, I figured why should he look for the nearest porta-potty when there are so many exposed steel beam facing crowded office buildings that he could whip it out and do his business on?

Fast forward to 1:15p.m. today. I'm down the hall in a colleague's office, which happens to face the same direction as mine, chatting about some ridiculous document or memo or whatever, when I see a man approach a steel beam on one of the upper exposed floors, open his pants and do his business. It was the same deal (but different guy) -- he had the piss stance going, his hands were in the pissing position, pants were open, etc. -- as last week.

The two main differences between the pissing incidents were (1) the work site was filled with workers today and (2) this guy nearly lost his pants post-shake when he went to zip up. Yep . . . we got to see some ass crack today.

What I've learned from this is that no one on a construction site uses the porta-potties to take a piss. That's what steel beams are for. So when you are walking past a construction site on a sunny day and feel a few drops of moisture hit you from above, don't think it's from the air conditioning.

And to the BoA employees moving in next year . . . your territory has already been marked.

let's play ball

2007-05-13T10:51:00.000-04:00

Don't even bother trying to contain your excitement. You shouldn't. FRIDAY NIGHT LIGHTS has been renewed!!! The renewal had seemed probable - at best - for some time, given its critical acclaim and maybe even recent Peabody award, but I was more than skeptical. I just don't trust TV execs. But smart move here. Although I don't watch any other TV drama, I must concur with FNL's praise as being the best drama on TV. It has to be, right?

So here's what we need to get done in the next season. With the renewal, I think it is safe to assume that Coach Taylor will be staying at Dylan and not taking the college job.
1. The high school juniors (Julie, Matt, and Landry) are fine.
2. The seniors! Troubled waters with high school shows. No one can really get away with pulling a 90210 and letting the gang hang out in high school forever. Nor can everyone go to the same college. Surprisingly, most of the seniors have been written in a way where their hanging around wouldn't feel entirely forced.
2a. Jason Street: He doesn't come into play as our crippled heartthrob is now a coach, and not going to college. Keep him with the funky tattoo girl. The Leila relationship came to a fitting and believable end. (See below.) If he would like to marry me, that would be ok.
2b. "The Smash": Entirely annoying character, but he was essential to the show. Given what we were led to believe were some high college prospects, I assume he will have to go to a great college somewhere, and thus, leave the show. They can retire his number, but we don't need any more of The Smash. His mom was fun. Waverly was actually more annoying than he was. She must go away forever.
2c. Tim Riggins: On the fence with him. I imagine they will come up with something kinda lame to keep him around. If they do, Brooke Langton as the hot older neighbor must leave. That was a horrible plot device, and her kid was the most annoying child ever.
2d. Tyra: Given her near rape at the end, I don't think they are going to so quickly write her off the show. Besides, this character is not jetting off somewhere anytime soon. She can stay, as her friendship with Julie would make this plausible. The only way to realistically keep Riggins on the show is through Tyra.
2e. Leila Garrity. Oh Leila Garrity, can I just give this actress and the writers props for turning the most annoying character on the show to someone so endearing and likable. I am going to believe they planned this transformation from day one. Given her dad, she will be around. But keep her away from Jason. These two need a break.
3. The team cannot win another title. They are losing all their players and they really did not refer to any up and comers. This is a building year for the Panthers.
4. Connie Britton. The stand-out for an Emmy nom. Possibly only because the lead actress in a drama category is pretty weak. But in the 2nd half of the season, she totally rocked.

Enough, Yay, Friday Night Lights!

And The Winner Is.....The Sport of Tennis!

2007-05-06T22:15:00.000-04:00

In an exhibition match, Roger Fed and Rafa Nadal played each other on a half grass/half clay court. Simply building the court cost a whopping $1.63 million. I am yet to decide if it was worth it or not. I mean, was this match actually significant of anything? To the untrained tennis eye, it might have been touted as the match to determine once and for all, who is the best. To most, however, it was a clearcut gimmick, perhaps interesting, perhaps not. I found it interesting in theory, but pointless, mostly because Nada won 7-5, 4-6, 7-6 (12-10). These two win everything, everything and are entirely unbeatable to the point that it is obnoxious now. But in choosing a favorite of obnoxious winners, I am gonna have to go with Roger.

Say what you will, I will take the crying and the jacket anyday over the teething moron on the podium. So, let's step it up, Fed. I mean you can beat anyone all the time, anywhere, anyplace, but why not Nadal, who on any given day can fall to anyone if the match is not on clay? The boy is streaky, although he is beginning to do a lot more on other surfaces. If Roger is ever going to win the French, which he can, I have a hunch it will be because someone else beat Nadal in an earlier round. But that is just a gut feeling, and a long shot. Who knows. I am so much more over Nadal's streak on clay than I am Fed's Wimbledon's. Besides, Roger still has to keep winning so he can break Sampras' record!

In funner news, how much you wanna bet the Federer camp MADE Nadal clean up before any pictures would be taken! See the pic above.

Please take Lohan seriously...she is getting classier

2007-05-06T10:13:00.000-04:00

In a plea to be taken seriously, Lohan released the following statement: "I don't think there has been a role for an actress like this movie was for me in so long. At first I was like, 'I can't do this, I'm getting my legs cut off. I don't want to look like that in scenes, I want to look decent.' But that was just me being young and stupid. And I have my first sex scene in it, which I always said I wouldn't do. I wanted to do this movie so people can see that I'm a f**king actress and I've been doing it forever and it's about time people see that. It felt so good to really act. I just pray people won't rip me apart for it, and be negative. The thing with the press, and why they need to leave me the f**k alone for a little bit, is because I don't want that distracting from my work. I want to get a nomination. I want to win an Oscar. I want to be known for more than, like, going out. For being the 'party girl'. I hate that. I bust my ass when I'm filming and when I have time off, yeah, I like to go out and dance."

Ahhh, reminiscent of a young Ms. Streep. F**k yeah!

Holy McGreevey!

2007-05-02T14:34:00.000-04:00

From the Star-Ledger:

Former Gov. James E. McGreevey has started the process to become a priest in his newly adopted Episcopal faith and hopes to begin a three-year seminary program in the fall.

Yes, a priest. From Parkway rest stops to the seminary.

Commence with the Father McGreevey/altar boy jokes now.

More here.

It's here, it's here!

2007-05-01T10:17:00.000-04:00

Dina Matos McGreevey's book, Silent Partner, hit bookstores today. She will be appearing on Oprah later today and on Good Morning America tomorrow morning.

Should we buy this one?

The IRS are the nicest people ever!

2007-04-16T18:55:00.000-04:00

The Internal Revenue Service said late Monday that people directly affected by the nor'easter that hit the Northeast will get to a two-day extension for filing their 2006 tax returns. Impacted taxpayers will have until midnight Thursday, April 19, to file their taxes.

"Because this unusually forceful storm hit within 24 hours of the filing deadline, we are giving affected taxpayers 48 additional hours," IRS Commissioner Mark Everson said, according to the Associated Press.

In order to avoid incurring late fees, affected taxpayers should mark their paper tax returns with the words "April 16 Storm," the IRS said. E-filers can use their software's "disaster" feature, if available.

Total sweethearts!

And the father is..... (insert snooze)

2007-04-11T14:20:00.000-04:00

I barely care about Anna Nicole. No wait, I don't care at all. But I will say this: There are times you are gonna want to do a fist pump, and there are times when you just shouldn't. At least pretend you aren't a frat boy who just won the lottery, right?

Signs from a mall

2007-04-07T13:26:00.000-04:00

This store is going out of business.

Maybe this is one reason?

Now the "she said"

2007-03-28T11:22:00.000-04:00

It looks like "Silent Partner," the booked penned by former New Jersey first lady Dina Matos McGreevey about her life as Jim McGreevey's wife, will actually sell a few copies:

[Oprah] Winfrey's production company confirmed yesterday former New Jersey First lady Dina Matos McGreevey will take a turn on the famous on-stage couch at "The Oprah Winfrey Show" to promote her forthcoming memoir, "Silent Partner."
A spokeswoman for the show declined to give a precise air date other than "later this spring." Matos McGreevey declined to comment yesterday.

Dina's book -- billed as "a story of a marriage that was anything but happily-ever-after, told by a strong and resilient woman who can, and finally will, speak for herself" -- is due out May 1. Sounds juicy!!!! If you feel like meeting her, or asking her a question, she she is scheduled to sign copies of the book and answer questions at Barnes & Noble on Route 22 in Springfield, New Jersey the same day.

We can't wait to read it!

A note to da bitches-n-ho's

2007-03-18T21:21:00.000-04:00

Here's a random sign picture I took with my cell phone a few months ago. It's from a bar in DC. I'm sure you can guess what kind of bar I was in when I took snapped the pic.

So, who do you think they might "refuse entrance" to?

Big salads

2007-03-18T20:53:00.000-04:00

I just had a Caesar salad as part of my dinner. It was the closest thing I've ever had to a Big Salad.

It had the best croutons on it. The best. Ever. I could have eaten an entire bowl full.

The crouton really is a great invention (for lack of a better term). They make even a mediocre salad pretty fun.

So if you are going to do a salad for dinner, make sure to add the croutons.

Feeling some heat, McGreevey backs down (vaguely)

2007-03-14T21:19:00.000-04:00

After yesterday's news reports (and commentary) concerning Jim McGreevey's revised lawsuit for divorce in which he seeks sole custody of the daughter he has with soon-to-be-ex-wife Dina Matos McGreevey, it seems that McG might have felt a little heat and decided to do some damage control:

A day after the court filing was reported in The Star-Ledger, McGreevey called a reporter and said he wanted to "clarify" the intent.
"We tried to work towards an agreement," he said, referring to his estranged wife, Dina Matos McGreevey. "Now we turn to the judge to ask for the benefit of the court's wisdom in discerning the settlement."
The 49-year-old ex-governor declined to answer repeated questions about whether he wants full custody of his daughter.
He and his new attorney, Mat thew Piermatti, said the document was meant to be ambiguous.
"The language is intentionally vague," Piermatti said. "All options are open."

Not everyone is buying the "vague" excuse (also from the Star-Ledger):

Divorce-law experts yesterday said they were surprised that any lawyer would be imprecise, especially in an area as sensitive as child custody. "It's not normally what you do," said Lynne Z. Gold-Bikin, former chairwoman of the family law sec tion of the American Bar Association and managing partner of Wolf Block Schorr and Solis-Cohen, a major Northeast firm with offices in Roseland. "You've got to be specific."
Gary Skoloff, who teaches family law at Seton Hall Law School, said McGreevey's revised lawsuit clearly includes a request for sole custody by the ex-governor. And Skoloff said it looks to him like McGreevey changed his tune late yesterday after a day of media commentary assailing him for seeking custody of his daughter.
"Nobody's intentionally vague when it comes to custody," Skoloff said. "You're not allowed to play with custody. Being intentionally vague is the worst thing you can do with custody in family court. When you mention custody, you leave it wide open, meaning there's no agreement on custody and you're asking for custody."

We're not buying vague either. Try again Jim.

Jim to Dina: I want custody!

2007-03-13T09:28:00.000-04:00

Former New Jersey Governor James E. McGreevey recently dropped this divorce bombshell on his soon to be ex-wife, Dina Matos McGreevey:

Former Gov. James E. McGreevey has revised his divorce lawsuit against his estranged wife and is now seeking sole custody of the couple's 5-year-old daughter -- and child support.

The new documents make no mention of a "matrimonial settlement agreement" that McGreevey's original divorce filing said had resolved all issues of custody and support.

This doesn't sound like the amicable divorce Jim painted a picture of in his earlier complaint.

So why the change? Maybe it has to do with the fact that Jim has said that he and his partner, Mark O'Donnell, "plan to enter into a civil union after the divorce is finalized."

According to John Eory, a partner at the law firm Stark & Stark in Lawrenceville (and an instructor in divorce law somewhere), this may be helpful in Jim's plight for sole custody (via the Star-Ledger):

"If he's claiming he's better fit to be entrusted with the residential care of his child, I'm presuming he's prepared to go to the mat to do that," Eory said. He said McGreevey might argue that he can provide a "stable nuclear two-parent household ... (and) offer benefits to the child that she can't get in a single-parent home."

Because Jim McGreevey is our favorite New Jersey drama icon of the moment, in a way we want his divorce to be as tawdry as his past life. But we realize that at the center of all this is 5-year old Jacqueline. For her sake, we hope they can strike a deal.

What We Learned From Oscar, '07

2007-03-03T21:47:00.000-05:00

This one is pretty easy. This past Oscars simply boils down to one simple fact: single life is certainly agreeing with Ms. Witherspoon. In 12 months she went from nice and cute to smoking hot. Possibly a little on the skinny side, but I will let this slide for the time being. she has bangs which I normally loathe, but I will let this slide. Girl is looking goo-ood! Well done. Sorry, Ryan.

Oh yeah, there was also Martin Scorsese, Ellen's antics in the audience totally trumping her monologue, Diva Eddie Murphy, further proof anyone can win a Best Supporting Actress Oscar, and such a Pan's Lab upset, that I can't quite deal just yet.

Happy Oscars, Everyone!

2007-02-25T11:19:00.000-05:00

It's Oscar time, baby! But just like Christmas, the days leading up to it are the more magical and fun; the actual ceremony is usually a total snooze. But I have a good feeling about Ellen. Not so much about the winners, where predictability has taken over and is not letting up. (Eddie Murphy, Jennifer Hudson, Forrest Whitaket, and Helen Mirren will all win, as they have won everything else.) Still, the media is pushing the fact that the Best Picture race is up in the air, there is no certain winner. God forbid there be an actual surprise at this scripted ego-masturbation brouhaha.

Who will win?
Letters from Iwo Jima: I haven't seen it. Never count out the academy's love affair with Clint, but this doesn't seem to be much of a factor at all anymore. It was the last place nominee, most likely.
The Queen: Its clout seems to all lie with Helen Mirren, even though it is a great movie, not merely one great performance. It has wilted from this race and all the "small-movie" votes it might have syphoned have quickly gone to....
Little Miss Sunshine: This is a contender. And I feel it may win. Been cleaning up many awards lately and I think with the DVD out for some time now, everyone has seen it. Which always helps.
Babel: Buzz was way down on this movie when nominations came out, right? Somehow this movie is frighteningly in the running, despite being a total snooze and having a mediocre storyline. Does anyone want to see this movie again? I find that hard to believe.
The Departed: I feel like this movie might simply be the frontrunner by default. Critically acclaimed all around, huge box-office, the potential year of Scorsese, you can't find any reason not to like it.
But! The academy really doesn't seem to have a problem breaking up the Best Picture/Best Director anymore. They doesn't have to go hand in hand. And if Scorsese is winning Best Director, that may be enough. Can Little Miss Sunshine win without having its directors even nominated though? Does Babel now surge ahead, as a result? ACK! I don't know! Am I longing for some predictability to calm me down?

Final Answer: Sunshine

263 minutes of ego

2007-02-23T12:34:00.000-05:00

Acting as if their movies save children from certain death and/or horrible disease, Hollywood's elite will be packing into the Kodak Theatre on Sunday night for the 79th Academy Awards. The telecast, sure to be filled with (1) plenty of back patting for just how great they are, (2) snide remarks about the President and/or elated mentions of Democrat control of Congress and (3) a lot of useless fluff such as songs, dances and speeches about how this Oscar win will break a glass ceiling, or a glass floor, or a glass vase, or a glass managerie, is rumored to be one of the longest (if not THE longest) ever.

Why in God's good name must they have an annual awards show that lasts in excess of 4 hours?

I'll probably tune in for the first 30 minutes -- to see Ellen Degeneres do the opening (which likely will be the best part of the show) -- and last 30 minutes -- to see the big awards. Everything in between is purely for Hollywood, the Hollywood wannabes and the movie snobs.

NJ Film Critics Awards: Top Ten Films of 2006

2007-02-19T01:12:00.000-05:00

This past weekend I saw Half Nelson, and I decided, with that, I was closing out my movie year 2006. I never saw the Clint Eastwood fanfare Letters from Iwo Jeemz, or Flags of my Fathers. Nor did I see Hot Superman Return, anything animated (Cars, Happy Feet, etc.), or even the new James Bond. Still, I feel perfectly comfortable presenting to everyone the complete list of the Best Movies of 2006, limited collector's edition series. Yet before we begin with the finalized list, I need to set aside one picture, which I didn't feel right categorizing.

Honorable Mention
United 93

I am giving United 93 an Honorable Mention nod, because I just don't know what to do with it. I loved and hated it. From the opening scene with its backdrop of slow, resonant drumbeats, I was wondering why I was watching this, as it was going to be frightening. It was. At the same time, it was intense and thrilling. A very succinct retelling of the early hours of Sept. 11, primarily aboard 93, but the scenes in the air traffic control rooms and war rooms were equally fascinating. The blond army girl on her headset was a heartbreaker. The older passenger who decided to attack the terrorists should have an Oscar nom. I am still wondering how the director knew all of this or if some it was made up. It is bad to say that up until the final minute, I really thought the passengers had a chance? I guess you would have to see it.

10.
Infamous

The other Capote movie. The Capote movie with lesser production values. Part of Infamous feels like the extended SNL parody of Capote. Part of feels like it was made by Christopher Guest. I say that because this movie is funny! At least the first half, which seriously is a hoot. Then Daniel Craig (Bond) comes in and really ruins it with his utter inability to act. But Plucky Toby Jones keeps you invested. I wish he could have won an award for Best Truman Capote in a comedic performance and Philip Seymour would have been Best Truman Capote in a dramatic performance. Jones's Capote is over the top and it is wonderful. Still, the second half drags. The 10th spot on my list my just have easily gone to Thank You for Smoking or Stranger Than Fiction, but I saw this one most recently.

9.
Sherrybaby

Maggie Gyllenhaal is the real deal. In the past 6 weeks, I have seen Sherrybaby, Stranger than Fiction, and Happy Endings, and in all of these she was captivating. Not to mention, her strong buzz in World Trade Center. Anyhow, Sherrybaby is the close examination of her plight to stay sober and win back her baby. She really lifts what would be an otherwise drab movie with very little plot, but her character study is compelling enough. She is fierce, funny, weak, unlikable, likable and painfully tragic all at once. She, too, should have an Oscar Nom, but then there's Meryl, Oy.

8.
Akeelah and the Bee

This brings me to one of a handful entirely fun and memorable experiences in a movie theater this year. The Pot and I saw this in the semi-ghetto. It had been ages since I was in a theater where people clapped. It is a good feeling. Everything about this movie was heartwarming; everyone should see it. Akeelah, her little semi-love interest Javier, were endearing. Angela Basset, entirely underappreciated in this, was pretty fierce. Thumbs up for this spelling bee drama that sucks you in til the very end. And could the end be any cuter? No. This movie was produced by Starbucks and I still loved it!

7.
Snakes on a Plane

Say what you will. This movie is fun. Very fun. Very very fun. You may have heard the few fans of this movie say "It is so bad, it's good." Unfortunately, they are wrong. This is just a flat-out good movie. Entirely ridiculous, but so what? Snakes delivers on everything promised and expected and hoped for. Like any good horror movie, it is hilarious, pretty scary, and you will jump out of your seat. I wish I could see it again for the first time. I was delighted. If you need any more evidence, I adhere to IMKA senior MF (we have the same birthday) who said to some naysayers: "Snakes on a Plane was such a good movie and I will tell you why. There wasn't a single minute whent I wasn't happy." Probably the most on target thing he ever said. And have you seen the video?

6.
Children of Men

There were so many reasons why I shouldn't have loved this movie. It was political. And there were more gunshots than I think have ever been in a movie. Despite all this, a very beautiful movie came out of it. Good vs. evil. The individual vs. the man. A bit of hope in a world of doom. Clive Owen is dashing, the story is sensational, and expertly avoids every potential trap towards extreme cheesiness. And there is a lot! Sci-fi enough (or not, depending on your perspective) to appeal to your inner Matrix, and at the same time, Clive Owen trenches the depths much more than Keanu. Kee, robbed of an Oscar nom.

5.
The Queen

This is pretty much labeled the Helen Mirren show, which is part correct, but part overlooking the real story: A pretty slick retelling of the Princess Diana death from a perspective I don't think anyone knew about. This could have been a documentary and it would have been riveting. In an uncanny depiction of the Queen Mum, Mirren is wonderful, subtle, and gives us everything we need to know about this woman with a single look or tilt of her head. Wasn't expecting to find this as great as it is. Glad to be proven wrong. Shout out to Tony Blair. Holla! And the English landscape!

4.
The Departed

Another movie I really shouldn't have liked as much as I did. Uber violent and quintessentially chock full of the Martin Scorsese F-Bomb. But this movie was thrilling and just plain awesome. I have said it once before and I will say it again, whoever wrote this used up a lot of notecards to create such a dizzying story that totally fit at every scene. I credit the writer first, Scorsese second, and Leo third. Sure Matt Damon was good, but his character really didn't have the pull that Leo's did. A very butch movie for me. And I will further say that the one female part in this movie wasn't even close to being my favorite. Well done all around.

3.
Little Miss Sunshine

Ok, I am going to reveal too much of myself here, but I think I cried during 75% of this movie when I saw it. The opening scene of tubby, nerdy Olive watching and imitating Miss America killed me and it was all over. Every time they started that van and the music played, I got teary. I have no idea why. It was just too touching. I am thinking about this movie a lot now and wondering if it was gimmicky or over the top or frivolous, but I am going to trust my initial judgment. This is such a great story and stellar performances all around. Arkin and Breslin and Dano, yes color-blind, mute by choice Paul Dano. The music by Devotchka is the third director here. And I have since learned that if you don't see a good movie in the theater, the extent of its goodness barely translates to DVD.

2.
Pan's Labyrinth

Finally, the just adaptation of Alice in Wonderland. Well, maybe not exactly, but close enough. What a terribly sad yet captivating movie. I have read so many analyses of this and I am yet to really agree with any of them; all theorizing what or who is the real monster here and why this girl retreated into her magical world in order to cope with fear. I don't even care. At face value, this is a perfect children's fairy tale, where the scariest imaginative things don't seem scary to kids, per se, that's just how things are. Spanish maid Mercedes fully deserved an Oscar nom. I think I need a blog about how Jennifer Hudson stole nominations that could have belonged to many others, but she got it because she sang one song and was bossy. Still, let's keep it to Pan's. Child star Ivana Banquero ascends beyond Abigail Breslin, sorry Olive, and lingers somewhere with Half Nelson's Shareeka Epps in formidable performances by kids.

1.
Notes on a Scandal

This movie is being placed at number one for many reasons. Primarily it just has everything in it. It is frequently hilarious and contains some of the most wonderful sentences I have heard all year. A flat out insane performance by Judi Dench is going down in history and this movie will become a sleeper cult classic on par with Mommie Dearest and Dolores Claiborne. Everything is quotable. It is fun; it is frightening; and there is more intensity in this 90 or so minutes than imaginable. Best of all, Notes somehow manages to blend full on campy fun with high-brow literary artsiness. Pretty unheard of, right? A jaw dropping climax, literally and the soundtrack of the year, which as you know (or maybe you don't) only makes a movie more stupendous for me. The Pan's soundtrack was equally glorious, actually it was better.

OK, thanks for reading. I will try to be briefer in the future. Oscar picks soonish.

If I see one more teacher . . .

2007-02-14T09:14:00.000-05:00

. . . interviewed on the news saying that weather related school closings are all about keeping students home and safe and not about yet another day off for teachers, I think I'll scream. Or maybe cry? Something!

Deal or No Deal

2007-02-04T17:59:00.000-05:00

The Pot and Kettle's favorite gay former New Jersey governor (Jim McGreevey, in case you couldn't figure that one out) filed for divorce from his wife, Dina Matos McGreevey, on Friday February 2, 2007. Stating that the couple's 26-month separation "has continued to the present time and there exists no reasonable prospect for reconciliation," McGreevey asked that the New Jersey Superior Court end their marriage. He also mentioned in his complaint that he and Dina entered into a settlement agreement on January 12, 2007 "which resolves all issues pertaining to custody, parenting time, alimony, child support, equitable distribution and counsel fees."

Seems amicable, right?

Well, it seems Jim spoke out of turn:

"I note from news accounts of my husband's filing that he claims we have reached a comprehensive agreement. That is not true," Matos McGreevey said through her lawyer, John N. Post. "We continue to have profound differences about what our daughter should be exposed to, and until they are resolved, there will be no agreement."

The "[w]hat our daughter should be exposed to" bit seemed a little odd. What is Dina afraid the kid will be exposed to? Two gay men? Yikes, not that!

Alternatively, maybe Dina just wants to drag this out until her book, The Silent Partner, is released in May. We won't lie -- we're hoping that she tells some dirty little secrets that Jim left out of his snoozer of a book.

One of these days these boots are gonna walk all over you

2007-01-24T14:24:00.000-05:00

First Oscar noms impression:
Take that, Dakota!
Yay, Olive!

More to come!

It was this fortnight a year ago, when Goliath destroyed David. And everyone was happy.

2007-01-15T17:18:00.000-05:00

Aussie Open time! The forgotten Slam! The too-soon Slam! The Slam I would LOVE to go to! The Slam that will forever be remembered as the time Justine Henin-Hardenne so ungraciously quit in the finals. In a lovely twist of fate, dare I say irony, Mauresmo quipped, "I was ready to die out there today," while JHH quit for a tummy ache. It is also the time when the Pot is back-to-back annoyed by another long post of mine. The summer heat, the injuries, the somewhat long interim between seasons, it is unpredictable all around...or is it? Deep.

The Impossible Chase against Roger Federer, Year #4, can begin. Gentlemen, be ready to fail.
Men Top Quarter: Top Seeds: #1 Fed. #7 Tommy Robredo, #11 Baghdatis
Potential Spoilers here: #24 Juan Carlos Fererro, #18 Richard Gasquet and unseeded Gail Monfils and Feliciano Lopez.
All Federerer. Interesting quarter match up which was last year’s final against Baghy, who, with his entourage of insanity, will take out Robredo.
Quarters: Fed over Baghy.

Second Quarter: Top Seeds: #4 Ljubicic (who just lost) #6 Roddick
Spoilers: #16 David Ferrer, #22 Domink Hrbaty, #24 Marat! And unseeded Vince Spadea and Mardy Fish (who knocked out Ljubicic
With Ljuby out on top, I will go with Ferrer to make it to the quarters. On the bottom (hot!) Safat will take out Roddick in Round 3 in an amazing match. But Safin pulls it together well and I think Andy is gonna crumble.
Quarters: Safin over Ferrer

Third Quarter: Top Seeds: #3 Davydenko, #8 Nalbandian, #12 Haas (hotness)
Spoilers: #29 Malisse, #21 Tursonov and unseeded Max Mirnyi and Oliver Rochus
Kind of a snoozer of a quarter with no one very well known, and the top seeds are not set as making it through to the latter stages of tourneys. Perennial favorite of mine Tommy Haas, now is your chance! But I don’t see it happening, sadly.
Quarters: Tursonov over Haas

Fourth Quarter: Top Seeds: #2 Nadal, #5 Blake.
Spoilers: #15 Andy Murray, #19 Hewitt (hometown) and unseeded Ginepri.
Potential tough first rounder for Blake against veteran Carlos Moya and Nadal is up against the man who almost knocked him out of Wimbledon, hot American Robert Kendrick. Nadal should fall early, the problem is, there is no one of worth until Murray in the round of 16. Blake will step it up first week.
Quarters: Murray over Blake.

Semis: Fed over Safin; Tursonov over Murray
Final: Fed over Tursonov. I guess

Big Babes of Tennis: Start your engines. A Justine free Slam! :-) And the start of the Open-Era without Lindsay Davenport (a goodbye to her to come)
Top Quarter: Top Seeds: #1 Sharapova, #8 Schnyder
Spoilers: Up and comers #13 Ivanovic, #12 Chakvetadze, and homegrown #24 Sam Stosur (who I love) and Alicia Molik, surprise quarter finalist two years ago.
Watch the prettiest round of 16, Sharapova over Ivanovic. Schnyder is tricky but getting up there. She will fall earlyish
Quarters: Sharapovs over Stosur

Second Quarter: Top Seeds: #4 Clijsters, #6 Hinigis, #9 Safina
Spoilers: #19 Na Li – watch for her! Could see her causing damage.
Hmmm, I am lost here. Safina who has positioned herself to be on the brink of a big win at a major recently beat Hingis. Clijsters, a somewhat nonentity in slams lately just won big twice. But she is shaky
Quarters: On a limb: Safina over Clijsters

Third Quarter: Top Seeds: #5 Petrova, #3 Kuznetsova, #11 Jankovic
Spoilers: SERENA! #16 Sharar Peer
Kutzy will do nothing, come on NADIA! Jankovic who looks like a total bitch has had an amazing start to the year. She almost took out Justine in the US Open semis. I can’t root against Nadia. She will take out Serena in a gritty performance, then annoyingly fall to Jankovic.
Quarters: Jankovic over Peer

Fourth Quarter: Top Seeds: #2 Mauresmo, #6 Dementieva, #10 Vaidisova
Spoilers: #14 Schiavone
A relatively kind draw for Mauresmo, who I don’t see stepping it up like last year.
Quarters: Mauresmo over Vaidisova

Semis: Sharapova over Safina; Jankovic over Mauresmo
Finals: Sharapova over Jankovic

GLOBIES! Golden Globe Predictions, 2007

2007-01-14T21:15:00.000-05:00

Time for the Globes! Best awards show of the year... it truly is a fun ceremony. Take notes, Academy. Take notes. I am very happy with these pics. Tomorrow night, I will not be. Bonus tho....The Pot said he may come over to watch! I bet he forgot.
Here we go...

Motion Picture – Drama
Babel
Bobby
The Departed
Little Children
The Queen
Rooting for: Departed. Against: Babel. Spoiler: Departed. Winner: Queen.
As of yesterday, I didn’tt see The Queen winning this big. Changed my mind. Think the foreign press will award it. Rather weak noms, however.

Actress - Drama
Penélope Cruz
Judi Dench
Maggie Gyllenhaal
Helen Mirren
Kate Winslet
Rooting for: Mirren. Against: Winslet (sorry, the movie sucked). Spoiler: None, but Cruz could be fun? Winner: Mirren. Hands down Mirren, and her speech will be glorious and witty.

Actor - Drama
Leonardo DiCaprio
Leonardo DiCaprio
Peter O'Toole
Will Smith
Forest Whitaker
Rooting for: DiCaprio (Departed) Against: SMITH! Spoiler: Whitaker. Winner: Smith.
I don’t think I can even comment here. I just don’t want Will Smith to win. Forest Whitaker is consistently, quietly amazing. Peter O’Toole is a living legend. DiCaprio is now a viable adult cinematic heavyweight, robbed of awards in the past, mind you. Will Smith will get jiggy and be a tool.

Motion Picture – Musical/Comedy
Borat
The Devil Wears Prada
Dreamgirls
Little Miss Sunshine
Thank You For Smoking
Rooting for: Little Miss. Against: Devil. Spoiler: Borat. Winner: Dreamgirls
Little Miss Sunshine was the best time I’ve had in a movie theater in a long time.

Actress - Musical or Comedy
Annette Bening
Toni Collette
Beyoncé Knowles
Meryl Streep
Renée Zellweger
Rooting for: Collette. Against: Zelweggs. Spoiler: None. Winner: Streep.
Yes she was devilishly fun in the first half, but she wasn’t the lead. After seeing Little Miss a few more times, I can appreciate Colette’s role a bit more, but she got the short end here.

Actor - Musical Or Comedy
Sacha Cohen
Johnny Depp
Aaron Eckhart
Chiwetel Ejiofor
Will Ferrell
Rooting for: Eckhart. Against: Depp. Spoiler: Eckhart. Winner: Borat.
Borat will give a fun speech. But it is nice to see Aaron (Company of Men) Eckhart here.

Supporting Actress
Adriana Barraza
Cate Blanchett
Emily Blunt
Jennifer Hudson
Rinko Kikuchi
Rooting for: Blunt! Against: Babel twins. Spoiler: Blanchett. Winner: Hudson
Wasn’t Emily Blunt really funnier than Streep? No? Ok. I am willing to like this American Idol loser, but she was on American Idol, which I hate and she loses points. Shouldn’t Blanchett be the formidable powerhouse in this category among 4 other unknowns? I guess her victory will be a couture one.

Supporting Actor
Ben Affleck
Eddie Murphy
Jack Nicholson
Brad Pitt
Mark Wahlberg
Rooting for: No one. Against: Pitt. Spoiler: Wahlberg. Winner: Nicholson.
A surprisingly blah category for me. Where, oh where, is Alan Arkin? Hell, even Paul Dano!??!

Foreign Languge Film
Apocalypto
Letters From Iwo Jima
The Lives Of Others
Pan's Labyrinth
Volver
I just find this category surprisingly main-stream this year. And wanted to point that out. Rooting for Pan’s Labyrinth! Winner: Letters. Maybe Mel will win and get booed. Remember, alcohol is served at the Globes…

Screenplay
Babel
The Departed
Little Children
Notes On A Scandal
The Queen
Rooting for: Departed. Against: Little Children. Spoiler: Queen. Winner Departed.
Even as I watched The Departed, I marveled, “What genius wrote this?” Well, maybe I didn’t use the word genius, but someone smart sure did. It was crafty. The writer used a lot of notecards spread out over his work area, so give him an award! Little Miss Sunshine? Everyone's favortie story of the year.

Television Series - Drama
24
Big Love
Grey's Anatomy
Heroes
Lost
Rooting for: Big Love, I think. Against: Lost. Spoiler: Heroes. Winner: 24
Why are TV dramas not doing it for me? Friday Night Lights is amazing. AMAZING. And soon to be cancelled? Thought it would get some recognition here, though.

Actress Television Series - Drama
Patricia Arquette
Edie Falco
Evangeline Lilly
Ellen Pompeo
Kyra Sedgwick
Rooting for: Falco. Against: Arquette. Spoiler: Falco. Winner: Sedgwick
Don’t’ care. But 3 out of the 5 of these women are boredom incarnate. Why is no one seeing through Arquette's fluke win? She doesn't belong. Go Mrs. Soprano. She always gives a fun speech anyway.

Actor Television Series - Drama
Patrick Dempsey
Michael C. Hall
Hugh Laurie
Bill Paxton
Kiefer Sutherland
Rooting for: Hall. Against: Keifer. Spoiler: Keifer. Winner: Laurie
Kyle Chandler? Friday Night Lights coach!?!?!? I just wanted to give him a shout-out. He was on Homefront, the best show ever, which was cancelled way before its time. Again, Laurie for speech value.

Actress Television - Musical Or Comedy
Marcia Cross
America Ferrera
Felicity Huffman
Julia Louis-Dreyfus
Mary-Louise Parker
Rooting for: Cross. Against: JLD (I hate her show!) Spoiler: Parker. Winner: Ugly Betty
Yes, the globes, in particular in the TV categories reward young, new talent. Betty will give a cute speech I think. Marcia Cross will look gorgeous.

Actor Television - Musical Or Comedy
Alec Baldwin
Zach Braff
Steve Carell
Jason Lee
Tony Shalhoub
Rooting for: Carrell. Against: Shalhoub. Spoiler: Shalhoub. Winner: Baldwin
No one is reading anyway. Go Michael Scott!

Television - Musical Or Comedy
Desperate Housewives
Entourage
The Office
Ugly Betty
Weeds
Rooting for: Office! Against: DH. Spoiler: Betty. Winner: Office
I am encouraged that the Housewives already seem to be past their prime. No one can dispute the brilliance of The Office. Young, fresh Betty can do well here though.

Pass this station right by

2007-01-12T11:26:00.000-05:00

Before I bashed the NY area radio station(s) that I hate listening to in the morning, I decided to give my least favorite group of radio personalities one last chance to show me that their show has some redeeming quality. I tuned in today during my drive. I turned to a different station about 38 seconds later.

So who are they? None other than Elvis Duran and the Morning Zoo on Z-100 in New York (and, unfortunately for Southern Florida, on Y-100.7 in Miami). And why do I dislike them so much? Well here are a few reasons.

First, they DO NOT broadcast from the "top of the Empire State Building" (aside from maybe having a transmitter there). Their studios are in the Meadowlands in New Jersey. Be proud you're from Jersey, don't diss it.

Second, Elvis Duran is a 40-something year old man who somehow thinks he's still in his 20s. Elvis, sweetie, you're not, ok? The "comedy" bits that he puts on the show really border on the ridiculous. Greg T eating dog food? Greg T and Skeery Jones sharing a spagetti-eating kiss? Come on, Elvis! I used to like you when you were on in the afternoons and Z-100's format was more alternative than its now 13-year old girl music. But the ridiculous antics (although I acknowledge a lot of people in the NY area must like them given the ratings) I just can't handle.

Third, the supporting cast is more annoying than anyone on radio. Hell, I'd listen to David Lee Roth -- or even Wake Up With Woopie -- instead of these people. For example, the previously mentioned Greg T "the frat boy." What are you, Greg, like 30 now? You're not a "frat boy" anymore, buddy. Cut the stupid "frat boy" stunts down to a minimum. Skeery Jones, same goes for you. I just can't listen to Danielle Monaro -- she has a voice that is worse than nails on a chalkboard. Carolina Bermudez just seems to be a useless piece of this program. And her attempts at "phone taps" (themselves not really all that interesting) are pitiful. Girl, you're not an actress. Froggy -- um, nothing bothers me more than stupid fake radio names. I don't really have anything bad to say about John Bell, except that I question his judgment for working with this group. And finally, Garrett (pictured above). You're Monkey Boy's competition for cutest guy in NY morning radio.

I've said my peace.

Radio Channel Surfing

2007-01-11T13:25:00.000-05:00

Since my current commute to work involves a lengthy car ride some mornings, I've spent a lot of time rolling through the radio dial looking for something interesting time-wasting music of talk to listen to. Over the past few months, I've formed some opinions about the radio personalities in the New York area. Now I'm going to share them.

What I usually end up listening to is 95.5 PLJ's Scott and Todd in the Morning (a/k/a The Big Show). Why? Well, there are two reasons -- they do a fairly good job (the music is ok, the jokes and parodies are usually funny, the phone scams are normally hysterical, the conversations somewhat interesting) and the rest of the morning shows on NY-area radio are just downright painful to listen to. Let me explain.

First the good. Scott Shannon is somewhat of a radio legend, being in the business for decades. The guy knows a lot about radio (he's in some halls of fame and I think was named something like the biggest and bestest radio guy ever by Billboard Magazine), a hell of a lot about music and, with his current complement of co-hosts and side players, does a pretty good job of keeping listeners tuned in. I'll admit, I didn't listen to Scott when he was heading up the "Z Morning Zoo" on Z-100 back in the 1980s -- it was a little painful. But when he came back from California to MOJO Radio (some stunt PLJ used back in the early 1990s when Shannon took over the morning show), I gave him a chance and have been a somewhat loyal listener since.

Now Todd Pettengill, Scott Shannon's co-host, is an absolutely integral part of this show. The guy is f**king hysterical -- something I never knew listening to him on Albany, New York's Fly 92.3 when I was in college up there in the early 1990s (hey Todd, remember the "Smart Deal Network" TV commercials you did? They always seemed to be on when we'd come home drunk from Daps). His phone scams are great. The parody songs he creates are, most the time, brilliant. His general banter during the show usually gives me a laugh. With that said, I have to admit that I could not listen to his Saturday Night at the 80's show. Todd, I think you're great . . . but the lame jokes, the canned phone calls and the different voice you used when taping that show just didn't do it for me.

As for the rest of the "cast," I'm liking them all. Patty Steele, I'm glad you left Z-100. I didn't think I'd ever get over Naomi Diclemente's departure, but you filled her shoes well. Joe Nolan adds some great humor -- most the time at his own expense. He does a great sounding traffic report (even if he leaves out most the roads anyone cares about). Bill Evans was also a great addition to the show. The weather guy can be funny and he always wishes me a "great day." Now Brad Blanks can be a little hit or miss with me. Some of the antics the show pulls with him I don't find much humor in (i.e., Elmo) but I guess someone likes it. His celebrity interviews and spelling bees are usually pretty funny though and he does add some humor to the show. "Jersey Girl" Diana I've grown to like over the year and love her soft and sexy commercial voice when she's hawking Dove or Home Goods crap. And last, but not least, Monkey Boy -- probably the cutest guy on radio in all of New York. The guy is funny, quick with a comeback, knows his sh*t when it comes to movies and TV and has a funny laugh. Anytime you want to come hang in Asbury Park at Paradise, Monk, let us know!

Although I've been pretty positive in this review, that doesn't mean that I don't turn the dial, particularly on a commercial break, when a lame song from yesteryear is playing or when one of their games or bits has just gone on a little to long. And by no means do I like everything that PLJ has to offer (ahem, WHY WHY WHY did you bring back lame Rocky Allen?). But the Big Show does entertain me.

Ready for what's bad about New York radio? Well . . . its coming in the next post.

This bartender can breathe fire, but can he do pirouettes?

2007-01-08T17:49:00.000-05:00

As we kick off 2007, I, your lowly Kettle, will start the year on both a positive and a selfless note. I am going to wish someone well and root for this person to unequivocally have a spectacular year. This person will not be a female tennis player; it will not be a hot, male tennis player; it will not be someone in anyway connected to winning Oscars, even! (Which may secretly upset him, but I don't know.) The person I will quietly root for, from afar, is none other than Chris, who some of you may know more informally as Pixie-Bartender.

Why Pixie Bartender, you might ask?
1. On a whim, when he thinks no one is looking, he will do a pirouette behind the Copper Bar! Usually he can do it successfully, as well!
2. When he gets a shout out from a large drag-queen, he will give a beauty-pageant-contestant, cupped wave to the crowd! Again, when he thinks no one is looking!
3. He often wears silver pants.
4. He was there for me during my really messy drinking years. But he never looked down on me scornfully. He was always more intrigued, perhaps beguiled. Thanks, Chris!
5. He often calls me "sweetheart" and gives fun drink discounts.

And for these and many many more reasons, Pixie, get out of that silly insurance gig, and have a fabulous '07!

Now, Aussie Open and Golden Globes to come!

New Year's Rezzies

2006-12-31T02:30:00.000-05:00

don't get your hopes. signor kettle is not making new year's resolutions. it is my most hated day of the year, after all... followed by my birthday and valentine's day. but i thought this might be a fine time to reassess my 10 goals (we loath using the word goals, though) for the year before i am officially 30.

To jog your mem, here is the orginal post

So after 25% of the year, here is how I am doing on My 10 Pipedreams:
10. Get rid of my gas-guzzling, yet jockish, pick-up truck.
Lease is officially up June 6, 2007 and counting... Bye Sir X, 33Long
9. Pay off my Macy*s bill.
Looooooong way to go still.
8. Read The House of Sand and Fog or A Confederacy of Dunces. Ideally both. The two have alternated as the book I will read next for about 5 years now.
I finished the House of Sand and Fog tonight! I think I can get Confederacy out of the way, by next September. Re: House of S&F, I think I was supposed to root for Jennifer Connelly and not Ben Kingsley. I loved Iranian Ben and hated whory eyebrow Connelly....at least in the book, folks. Coulda been shorter; I was reading it for an embarrassingly long amount of time.
7. Go away for Spring Break.
Ask me in March. Seattle is looking tempting.
6. Hang some things on my walls and get the plates over my electrical outlets and light switches.
Nada.
5. Have a magical Christmas.
Hmmmm...the jury might still be out. 1) I didn't get a new wallet and 1a) There was no one in the picture to give me said wallet. 2) My eight month old niece is the most magical, charming, and well-behaved 8month old who has ever lived. 3) My 3.5 year old nephew can go from adorable and kind to spoiled and bratty at the drop of a hat. Am I being too hard on the 3.5 year old? As of now, I don't think so. Aim high. The magic of Christmas was a 7 outta 10. I think.
4. Do something with the brilliant play I wrote. Nothing extreme. But something.
I managed to actually print it. It is in paper form!
3. Think more positively. (Whoa, who wrote that?)
This was stupid to begin with.
2. Join a club? Maybe start a hobby?
I need to get back to rockin out at the gym. I started an impossible puzzle and kinda moved it aside. So no progress here.
1. Learn to sleep.
Believe it or not, for a while in November and December, I was sleeping mostly through the whole night and waking up when my alarm clock sounded! Not before and laying there waiting! Yahoo!

Ok, with 25% 0f the year gone by, I am gonna say, I am roughly 25% of the way done.
Welcome '07!
For those of you keeping score, I once thought I did better in odd years. Or was it that I did better when I was an odd-numbered age?

I am going to add one more non-resolution: To see all 5 Best Pic nominees for the Oscars. I think I already have 3 of the set 4 out of the way: The Departed, The Queen, Little Miss Sunshine. I think I can get the 4th given nom done soon: Dreamgirls.
My prediction for the totally open 5th: Letters from Iwo Jima.
Here at Pot'NKettle, we are so anti-Babel, it like isn't even funny.

happy birthday, g-rose!

And at Christmas you tell the truth

2006-12-25T21:10:00.000-05:00

Merry Christmas.

Whenever I get gloomy with the state of the world, I think about the arrivals gate at Heathrow Airport. General opinion's starting to make out that we live in a world of hatred and greed, but I don't see that. It seems to me that love is everywhere. Often it's not particularly dignified or newsworthy, but it's always there - fathers and sons, mothers and daughters, husbands and wives, boyfriends, girlfriends, old friends. When the planes hit the Twin Towers, as far as I know none of the phone calls from the people on board were messages of hate or revenge - they were all messages of love. If you look for it, I've got a sneaky feeling you'll find that love actually is all around.

I do?

2006-12-21T13:53:00.000-05:00

Civil unions for gay couples became law in New Jersey today after Governor Jon S. Corzine signed a bill creating such unions into law at about 11:00a.m. The new law is a result of an October New Jersey Supreme Court decision in which the court mandated that the legislature either create civil unions (which would have to be identical in rights and responsibilities as marriage) or allow gays to marry. The Legislature (and the Governor) took the easier of the two roads and created civil unions.

I won't speak for The Kettle on this one, but I think this is a good outcome. For me its always been about getting the rights. Being equal. The name -- domestic partnership, civil union, marriage -- didn't really matter to me (despite my disdain for anything "separate but equal"). This bill (now law) does that. Gay couples who choose to become civil-unionized will have the same rights and responsibilities (under state law) as heterosexual couples who get married. Its equality, with a different name.

My one issue with what transpired today is the quote I saw from the Governor. He said, in speaking about the bill: "We join the ranks of the leaders in the nation in reflecting equal rights for everyone." He is correct. We do. But it only happened because the Supreme Court forced it. Corzine is opposed to gay marriage (although also opposed to a constitutional amendment banning it). He didn't campaign on the issue of equal rights for gays and he never promised to push for them. If it weren't for the court's decision, this bill would never have seen the light of day and Corzine wouldn't be championing New Jersey as being on the forefront of equal rights.

Anyway, don't rush out to get your civil union license just yet. Although the bill was signed into law today, it doesn't go into effect until February 19, 2007.

Slow down, I am going to have a lot of questions

2006-12-17T22:50:00.000-05:00

So Nicole Ritchie was drunk driving and Lindsay Lohan is an alcoholic. Nothing too noteworthy there, when you think about it. Hell, even panty-less Britney Spears isn't that revolutionary with her antics. So, here is a girl who actually needs real help and an intervention. Stat.

Natasha Lyonne was once so promising. In my opinion, she was the funniest (and most bitter) part of American Pie. She was the one who said of masturbation, "You've never double-clicked your mouse?" Or when bright-eyed Tara Reid wanted her first time to be at the right place in the right moment, Lyonne quipped, "Settle, this isn't a space shuttle launch. It's just sex." (Thanks imdb!) And then Slums of Beverly Hills totally put her on the map! She was going places.

Cut to drinking, drugs, etc. etc. and now this...Threatening to molest her neighbor's dog. On the one hand, that is kinda funny, if you have an annoying neighbor with an annoying dog. Seems like I would laugh if I heard that one. I might even root for others to make such a threat. But maybe, on the other hand, thinking about it a but more closely, it is all just too bizarre.

There really is nothing to be gained by molesting a dog. So, maybe let's not make that threat.

'American Pie' Actress Turns Herself In
By Jeanne King

NEW YORK (Dec. 15) - Actress Natasha Lyonne, the star of "American Pie" accused of threatening to sexually molest a dog, turned herself in at a New York court on Friday.

A bench warrant was issued for her arrest in January after Lyonne, who has also appeared in "Blade," and "Scary Movie 2," missed four court hearings.

The 27-year-old faced a number of charges including criminal mischief, harassment and trespassing after accusations she threatened to sexually molest her former neighbor's dog and ripped a mirror off the wall during a 2004 argument.

At the Manhattan Criminal Court appearance, drug counselor Heather Hayes said Lyonne had completed an in-patient drug program in February and continued to attend outpatient rehabilitation groups.

Judge Anthony Ferrara said the charges would be dropped if the actress stayed out of trouble for the next six months.

In the court complaint, Lyonne's former roommate claimed Lyonne trashed their apartment and then banged on a neighbor's door, rushed into that apartment and picked up her dog, telling the woman, "I'm going to sexually molest your dog."

Lyonne pleaded guilty in 2002 to driving under the influence of alcohol in Miami. She was fined, sentenced to six months probation and 50 hours community service.

Steve Lonegan gets bitch slapped

2006-12-09T20:52:00.000-05:00

This week's debate gay marriage v. civil unions debate in New Jersey sure wasn't short on the rhetoric or ad hominem attacks, including the following exchange between uber-conservative Bogota, New Jersey Mayor Steven Lonegan and Garden State Equality's Chairman Steven Goldstein.

Lonegan started it with the following (from the Record via PoliticsNJ):

"No! I'm not doing it! They're not going to force me to do civil unions. They're going to have to put a gun to my head. Even then it's going to be a challenge." -- Bogota Mayor Steven Lonegan, on performing civil unions. Lonegan " said he performs about two dozen marriages a year, and officiated at one in which the groom 'was so drunk he couldn't stand up.' He said he didn't object to adults who choose a particular lifestyle, but resented that he would have a government-ordered role in their union."

Oh I could say so many things about Lonegan's ridiculous statements, but I'm just here to report.

So what was Steven Goldstein's reply, you ask? Well:

"So let's get this right: Steve Lonegan, whose stunning political achievement has been to make Bret Schundler look moderate in statewide elections, would not preside over a ceremony between two loving, committed people of the same gender but would preside -- and has -- over a groom too intoxicated and thus not legally capacitated to enter a legal contract? With defenders of marriage like Steve Lonegan, grooms don't even need to show up anymore. On any marriage license, Mayor Lonegan is apparently willing to write the name Johnnie Walker. It's time to let gay couples marry. Not civil union -- but marry. We'll protect the institution from Steve Lonegan."

I give Goldstein a B for effort but a C- for content. He came out with his guns blazing but chose nasty rhetoric over a substantive response. The opportunity to really call this guy to task for his statement was there, but the execution was muddled by talking points and hyperbole.

But not to be disappointed, North Plainfield Council President Nathan Rudy decided that he'd weigh in on Lonegan's comments:

"Not for nothing here, Steve, but no one is gonna put a gun to your head to make you marry anyone. Performing marriage ceremonies -- or civil union ceremonies -- is an optional duty of being a Mayor and you can pick and choose when you want to officiate at a wedding. Your very strong stand is little more than bluster and bullspittle, and what is most pathetic is that you know it. However, your employees will have to issue the licenses for civil unions or same-sex marriages, and if you had real courage in your homophobic convictions you'd risk getting your butt sued off by refusing to let them. Frankly, I'd like to see if you have the guts to do it or if you are just blowing smoke up everyone's ass like usual. I suspect the latter."

Oh snap! Damn, Nate, let's not pull and punches man. A little on the nasty side, Steve Lonegan just got the put-up-or-shut-up from Nathan Rudy. My guess is that Lonegan won't do either.

No, she looks like sh*t

2006-12-04T17:46:00.000-05:00

After Dolly Parton performed at the Academy Awards earlier this year, there was some chatter about her latest round of plastic surgery -- on the face, not the boobs. Despite my thoughts that she looked ridiculous -- almost clown-like -- it seemed like most people were giving the work a thumbs up.

Well, people, look at the picture included in this post, taken at last night's Kennedy Center tribute, and tell me you still think Dolly looks good. She doesn't!

But Dolly wasn't the most ridiculous thing at last night's tribute. Surprisingly, Jessica Simpson was:

Jessica Simpson botched Sunday evening's Kennedy Center tribute to Dolly Parton, abruptly finishing the song "Nine to Five" with the words "so nervous" and quickly exiting, to no applause.

She was in tears when she and the other singers in the tribute came back out.

Acid reflux?

No So Notorious

2006-12-04T10:19:00.000-05:00

Anyone reading this blog can easily tell that The Kettle likes his TV. Not the actual applicance itself, but the group of shows on TV that he never misses (or, being the totally old school non-TiVo guy he is, sets his VCR for if he's out). I'm slightly different. I don't really have a must-see show that I'll rush home to see, set my VCR for (don't own one, and never got TiVo) or not answer the phone while watching. That said, I'm a sucker for an episode of Law and Order (the original or SVU; Criminal Intent, not so much) and the Bravo reality-ish shows of Project Runway and Top Chef. I can also easily get stuck watching Little People Big World as well. The last show I tried to watch on the night it was actually on was Arrested Development. My watching lasted one season and the show not much more than that (despite The Kettle's petitions and letter writing campaign to keep it on the air).

With all that said, I get to the point of this post. A week or so ago, I ended up watching 3 or 4 re-run episodes of the show So Notorious, the VH1 faux reality show based on Tori Spelling's over-the-top life. It was very funny and a great watch. I even saw that the first season is now out on DVD. I was excited! A show for me to watch! I even wondered when the second season was starting!

Well, its not. I saw in this morning's USA Today that the show has been cancelled.

Yes, Cancelled. Why? Who knows. Maybe it was the ratings? Maybe the network needed to make room for additional seasons of Flavor of Love, Hogan Knows Best or Breaking Bonaduce? Maybe the gays didn't like it as much as I thought?

Well, unless Bravo steps in to save it, it looks like we'll have to savor the few episodes that were made and wait for Tori to finish her book. In it she plans to dish about her plastic surgery, her big partying days, her romantic relationships, her finances and her family. Hopefully the So Notorious writers will be ghostwriting.

Golan Cipel: McGreevey is bi, not gay

2006-12-01T09:26:00.000-05:00

With his website -- which contests several of the stories ex-governor Jim McGreevey made in his book The Confession -- up and running, Golan Cipel is now hitting the interview circuit to, we guess, tell his side of the McGreevey-Cipel sordid sex story. First it was with WCBS in New York. Last night it was a national audience on CNN's Larry King Live.

So what did Golan have to say about McGreevey? Well, among other things, he doesn't believe that McG is gay. Yep. Bisexual is more like it:

"I believe that Jim McGreevey is bisexual. But, Larry, can you imagine this dramatic press conference when James McGreevey's coming out and saying that the truth is, I'm proud to be a bisexual American."

That's not all. Cipel went as far as to say that McGreevey's coming out was "part of the spin" to take the public's attention away from his threatened sexual harassment lawsuit:

I think McGreevey had no choice. There was a sexual harassment lawsuit against him. He didn't know what to do. And his adviser told him come out first. If you come out first, you will be perceived as the victim. You control of the story. That's what he chose to do.

With that comment, we're guessing Golan isn't a fan of Sex and the City or never saw the episode where Carrie Bradshaw instructed us, while attempting to date an attractive "bisexual" guy, that "bisexual is just one stop on the way to gay town."

McGreevey issued a statement after the interview. He said "I stand behind the truth and accuracy of every word in this book" and "My only wish for Golan is that he find peace and acceptance in his life."

More on the Cipel interview here and here.

She Is The Dumbest Girl You Will Ever Meet...

2006-11-28T22:04:00.000-05:00

Last year, Damian sat next to her in English class.
She asked me how to spell orange.

Now, we all know that spectacular bit comes from Mean Girls, relating to Karen Smith. But as it turns out, the dumbest girl is actually Lindsay Lohan.

Fire-crotch may need some 8th grade grammar lessons. Find the errors, folks. There are lots. Just when you think you found 'em all...wait, look again. There's one!

I didn't know one could turn over in such a fresh grave. Sorry, Sir Altman.

Lindsay Lohan released a statement Tuesday extending her condolences to Robert Altman's family:

I would like to send my condolences out to Catherine Altman, Robert Altmans wife, as well as all of his immediate family, close friends, co-workers, and all of his inner circle.

I feel as if I've just had the wind knocked out of me and my heart aches.

If not only my heart but the heart of Mr. Altman's wife and family and many fellow actors/artists that admire him for his work and love him for making people laugh whenever and however he could.

Robert altman made dreams possible for many independent aspiring filmmakers, as well as creating roles for countless actors.

I am lucky enough to of been able to work with Robert Altman amongst the other greats on a film that I can genuinely say created a turning point in my career.

I learned so much from Altman and he was the closest thing to my father and grandfather that I really do believe I've had in several years.

The point is, he made a difference.

He left us with a legend that all of us have the ability to do.

So every day when you wake up.

Look in the mirror and thank god for every second you have and cherish all moments.

The fighting, the anger, the drama is tedious.

Please just take each moment day by day and consider yourself lucky to breathe and feel at all and smile. Be thankful.

Life comes once, doesn't 'keep coming back' and we all take such advantage of what we have.

When we shouldn't.....

Make a searching and fearless moral inventory of yourselves' (12st book) -everytime there's a triumph in the world a million souls hafta be trampled on.-altman Its true. But treasure each triumph as they come.

If I can do anything for those who are in a very hard time right now, as I'm one of them with hearing this news, please take advantage of the fact that I'm just a phone call away.

God Bless, peace and love always.

Thank You,

"BE ADEQUITE"

Lindsay Lohan

http://www.usatoday.com/life/people/2006-11-21-lindsay-statement_x.htm

EW's crystal ball

2006-11-28T10:17:00.000-05:00

In the August 11, 2006 issue of Entertainment Weekly, Scott Brown's "Hit List" contained the following item (#4 on the list) about the multiple wedding ceremonies for Pamela Anderson and Kid Rock:

Kid Rock and Pam Anderson plan multiple weddings in multiple locales.

In six months, they will cover the same ground on a glorious 19-city "divorce tour."

Scott, you were close, but it looks like the "divorce tour" is 2 months ahead of schedule.

Pam's comment on the divorce? "Yes, its true. Unfortunately impossible."

She is SO profound!

Size queen

2006-11-27T18:16:00.000-05:00

Wonder what happened to Jim McGreevey's official gubernatorial portrait?

Ha! We didn't think so.

But for those of you who do care, it seems that Governor Jon Corzine's people are in a bit of a pissing match with McGreevey's "people" (which is probably just McGreevey himself) over when the McG portrait should be unveiled:

Last spring, McGreevey's people told Gov. Corzine's people that McGreevey wanted to schedule the ceremonial unveiling of the McGreevey portrait for late in the summer.

No, said the Corzine forces, because the attendant hoopla would be seen as helping to promote McGreevey's book, which was to be released just afterward in September.

Corzine staffers believe McGreevey's people thought Corzine would relent, so the McGreevey team came back again, later in the summer, asking for an OK to unveil the McGreevey portrait in tandem with the release of the book.

Corzine's people Â specifically his chief of staff, Tom Shea Â said no. Shea went further, instructing that McGreevey could not use the Statehouse to unveil the portrait until after McGreevey ended his book tour.

Well, its now the last few days of November. The book tour is still on. The portrait is still under wraps. And word is that McGreevey wants it unveiled before Christmas. But will Corzine relent?

Who knows? Who really cares? But since we're discussing it, who wants to bet that this standoff (if it can be called one) is less about McGreevey using the Statehouse for book publicity and more about Corzine not wanting McGreevey's picture hanging over his head -- literally -- during the press conferences in the Governor's outer office"?

Oh, and why the title of this post? Well:

[The portraits] seem to have grown larger over the years. Colonial governors' portraits left plenty of space on the mantle for a set of candlesticks or maybe a clay pipe.

Today's portraits consume large sections of walls.

Word is that McGreevey's is among the larger.

That got The Kettle's attention. ;-)

Confession correction

2006-11-23T09:22:00.000-05:00

Not only has Jim McGreevey's former boy-toy Golan Cipel broken his silence and spilled his side of the beans in a recent interview with WCBS New York's Jim Rosenfield, but it seems that Golan also has a website filled with all the tawdry details he thinks McGreevey left out of The Confession.

We need an Oprah slugfest between the two.

Bring on the Nasty

2006-11-01T20:39:00.000-05:00

I bet you thought I would be all Halloween with this post. But no. I am going political. I like to mix it up. I am 29 anyway. Time to put the tricks and the treats away.

So here's what I read the other day and it is still saddening me:

WASHINGTON - So far this campaign, the political parties have exposed voters to nearly $160 million in ads attacking congressional candidates. How much spent painting a positive image? About $17 million.

That's just over $1 of nice for every $10 of nasty.

The message ingrained in such a disparity in numbers: Don't vote for a candidate; vote against the opponent.

It's only fun when the pot and I are being nasty. Here, not so much. Make it stop.

Mark, please get a good prenup

2006-10-27T00:11:00.000-04:00

With his memoir The Confession now selling as well as an Ann Coulter book at Lambda Rising, New Jersey's gay ex-governor Jim McGreevey was delited with the state supreme court's decision on Wednesday essentially legalizing gay marriage (it could end up being "civil unions" instead of marriage, but it will be legally indistinguishable). In fact, he jumped right on the bandwagon and wants to make an honest man out of his beau Mark O'Donnell:

Former Gov. James E. McGreevey, who resigned in 2004 after announcing he is "a gay American," said yesterday he would like to enter into a civil union with his partner, Mark O'Donnell, once his divorce from his second wife is final.
"I would obviously look forward to having our relationship recognized," McGreevey said, reacting to yesterday's state Supreme Court ruling on gay marriage. "It's a blessing to live in New Jersey."

Let us not forget that McGreevey was governor at the time the gay marriage case was filed and he ordered his Attorney General, Peter Harvey, to fight the claims made by the gay plaintiffs. That was then:

Reached on his cell phone as he was traveling in Canada to visit Morag, his daughter from his first marriage, the former governor said the court's ruling on the rights of same-sex partners "is a tremendous victory for decency" and "represents the progressive tradition of our state Supreme Court."
"It's so profoundly emotional and meaningful," McGreevey said of the ruling. "It speaks to the value of marriage and the value of committed relationships, gay or straight. It's groundbreaking and it shows a great generosity of spirit."
* * *
"The decision is courageous," said McGreevey. He reiterated previous comments that he laments opposing gay marriage while he was in politics, mainly to mask his own sexuality.
"I only wish I had had the fortitude to embrace it as governor," McGreevey said. He has written a book about his experiences and regrets.

Oh Jim, please go away now. Really.

What's in an appearance?

2006-10-26T22:01:00.000-04:00

We noticed one interesting item in the "appearances" list at the front of the New Jersey Supreme Court's "gay marriage" opinion -- Lewis v. Harris. At the top of page 2 it lists who represented the State in this appeal:

Patrick DeAlmeida, Assistant Attorney General argued the cause for respondents (Anne Milgram, Acting Attorney General of New Jersey, attorney; Mr. DeAlmeida and Mary Beth Wood, on the briefs).

Anne Milgram is the First Assistant Attorney General, i.e., she is the second in charge in the Attorney General's office. The Attorney General's right hand woman.

For a very short period of time -- in between Zulima Farber's resignation and Stuart Rabner's confirmation and swearing in -- Ms. Milgram served as Acting Attorney General. That period of time was from August 31, 2006 to September 26, 2006.

Why then does Anne Milgram's name and title as Acting Attorney General appear on the court's opinion released one month after Mr. Rabner assumed the job of Attorney General? Given that the briefs were written when Peter Harvey was Attorney General and the oral argument was held while Ms. Farber held that post, and neither of their names appear on the decision, shouldn't the current AG's name be listed? We think the answer to that question is easy: Yes.

So why doesn't it? Was the opinion written, done, signed off, and ready for filing and release to the public over a month ago when Ms. Milgram was Acting Attorney General? If so, why wasn't it released then? Why did the court wait a month to issue its decision?

That's where the heading to this post comes in: Was this an "October surprise" (as some have mentioned) meant to somehow affect an election? Or was it "confirmation assistance"? What we mean by that is this: was the decision purposefully delayed so that then-Justice Zazzali would not have to face a barrage of questions about the court's opinion -- and his support for full and immediate gay marriage -- during the senate confirmation hearing on his appointment as chief justice held last week?

Or was it just a typographical error?

We aren't big conspiracy theorists, but this one got even us wondering.

Unanimous-ish

2006-10-26T21:07:00.000-04:00

Having now read the New Jersey Supreme Court's gay marriage decision -- Lewis v. Harris -- we have a few observations on the decision:

First, we were wrong on our prediction that the decision would not be unanimous. Although there was a 4-3 split, at the end of the day the 7 justices agreed that marriage or the equivalent must be afforded to gay couples. We did think there would be an actual dissent, somewhat in line with the New York Court of Appeals decision a few months ago in which the court left decisions on defining marriage to the legislature.

Second, the split was interesting. The 3 justices who would have ordered full marriage for gay couples are all, essentially, tenured and will never face the appointment and confirmation process again. Under New Jersey's constitution, members of the judiciary are appointed by the governor and confirmed by the state senate for an initial 7-year term. At the end of that term, the governor must reappoint the judge or justice (if he or she so chooses). If reappointed and then confirmed by the senate again, that judge has tenure until the mandatory retirement age of 70. Chief Justice Poritz, who turned 70 today, retired yesterday after the opinion was issued. Justice Zazzalli, who was confirmed by the senate as chief justice just two days before this decision was issue, will be 70 this coming July and will not face another confirmation hearing before then. Justice Long was recently reappointed and reconfirmed and now has her job until she turns 70 in 2012.

The four justices in the majority will all face reappointment over the next several years. Justice LaVecchia, who was sworn in to a term beginning on February 1, 2000, is up for reappointment in a few short months. Then comes Justice Albin, who will face reappointment in September 2009, Justice Wallace in September 2010 and Justice Rivera-Soto in September 2011.Was there a reason for the tenure v. non-tenure split, given the outcome? Who knows, but we thought it was interesting that the four members of the court who will face questioning from the state senate during their reconfirmations over the next few years didn't find that gay marriage was a fundamental right, something that the tenured justices would have found.

Third, the Democrat leaders in the legislature weren't too happy with the 180-day time period given by the court. Considering that New Jersey can't do a damn thing in 6-months, changing the state's entire marriage regime in that time seems a little ambitious. Snaps to Senate President Richard J. Codey and Assembly Speaker Joseph J. Roberts Jr. for telling the court what they thought about the timeframe:

"Given the fact that it took the judicial system nearly four years to come up with a 4-3 split decision, we think the determination by only four justices that the entire Legislature is obligated to respond within 180 days is unreasonable."

So there, justices!

Gay marriage in New Jersey?

2006-10-24T16:27:00.000-04:00

New Jersey Chief Justice Deborah T. Poritz's last day on the bench is Thursday, her 70th birthday. As a goodbye to Poritz, the New Jersey Supreme Court will be releasing its opinion in Mark Lewis, et al. v. Gwendolyn L. Harris, et al, No. A-68-05 -- the New Jersey gay marriage case.

From the front page of the New Jersey judiciary's website (right below the "pay your traffic ticket online" link!):

The following Supreme Court decision is expected to be released on Wednesday, October 25, 2006, at 3:00 p.m.: A-68-05 Mark Lewis, et al. v. Gwendolyn L. Harris, et al. Mercer County and Statewide)

According to the Supreme Court's website, the question to be decided is: "Does the New Jersey Constitution require the State to allow same-sex couples to marry?"

It has long been rumored that Chief Justice Poritz would author the main opinion in favor of granting marriage rights to gays. Whether that is the majority opinion or a dissent remains to be seen.

I guess we'll find out tomorrow.

Update:

The skinny from the Trenton streets is that Poritz was unable to get the 4 votes needed in favor of a right to gay marriage under the New Jersey Constitution and is stuck with just 3. How does it break down?

Rumor has it that newly-confirmed Chief Justice James R. Zazzali is a "no" vote and our guess is that Justice John E. Wallace, Jr. and Justice Roberto A. Rivera-Soto are also on the "no" side. Wallace and Rivera-Soto, although appointed by Democrats, are Repbulicans (at least in name) because they replaced Republicans on the court (New Jersey has always kept their Supreme Court at a 4-3 political split). We wouldn't describe them as conservatives, by any means, given that the New Jersey Supreme Court hasn't had a true conservative on it in many years.

With Poritz on the "yes" side is likely Justice Virginia Long, one of the court's more liberal members, and either Justice Barry T. Albin or Justice Jaynee LaVecchia. Albin was put on the court by former governor Jim McGreevey and is a Democrat. We wouldn't necessarily call him a liberal, but he's sure no conservative. LaVecchia is a Republican who was put on the bench by Governor Christie Whitman. She is best described as a moderate, probably slightly more pro-business.

So if its a 4-3 no-marriage split, our guess is that the "no" votes are Zazzali, LaVecchia, Wallace, Rivera-Soto. That leaves dissents by Poritz, Long and Albin.

Wednesday Morning Thoughts:

We'll know what the outcome is in about 4 hours, but thinking about it more last night we have just a few more things to share:

1) By no means are we predicting a 4-3 "no marriage" split. We talked with our people in Trenton and that was the general consensus on why it was taking so long -- Poritz was trying to win another vote (although the opinion might have been delayed so as not to be a center piece to Zazzali's confirmation hearing). This morning's news from New Jersey 101.5 noted that it was the "consensus" from both sides of the political aisle that the court would rule in favor of gay marriage. This is an activist court. It has been for 30+ years.

2) We do not see this as a unanimous opinion. It could be 4-3 yes, 4-3 no, 6-2 yes, etc. It won't be 7-0 either way.

3) Fox News (and the AP) reported the story this morning as a "headline" during Fox and Friends. The Fox anchor noted that since New Jersey doesn't have a residency requirement for marriage, like Massachusetts, gay couples will "flock" to New Jersey to get married. I'd be interested to see what a flock of gays looks like. ;-)

Silent protest?

2006-10-13T14:09:00.000-04:00

This is silly and just goes to show you that college students have too much time on their hands:

Students at the nation's only liberal arts university for the deaf and hearing-impaired promised Friday to keep the campus shut down in a protest over its incoming president.
Gallaudet University students have blocked access to campus buildings since Wednesday, and the incoming president has refused to step aside.

Why do they want the new president to go?

The protests began last spring when Jane K. Fernandes, the university's provost, was appointed president by the board of trustees. She is scheduled to take over for President I. King Jordan in January.
Fernandes has said some people do not consider her"deaf enough"to be president. She was born deaf but grew up speaking and did not learn American Sign Language, the preferred method of communicating at Gallaudet, until she was 23.

Not deaf enough? Come on. Who makes that call? Are there people who are too deaf to be Gallaudet's president?

I guess things could be worse -- the Gallaudet students could also be handing out root beer like these idiots.

Anyway, how do you say "Hell no, we won't go" in sign language?

"Perfecting the Art of Fart Projection"

2006-10-13T13:37:00.000-04:00

Ha!

Say you're stuck on a plane next to a chatty neighbor, and you want nothing more than to be left alone. Thanks to [Michelle and Brian] Watters, you can just open up your hardback copy of "How to Murder a Complete Stranger . . . and Get Away With It" and odds are you'll get your wish.
The Ottawa couple is selling individual self-help book jackets sporting comical titles — and they're hoping readers with an active funny bone will help themselves, the Canadian Broadcasting Corporation reports.
Among their eccentric offerings are "How to Overcome Nymphomania" (sure to get you some dates), "Do-It Yourself Vasectomy" (for the medical enthusiast with an independent streak) and "The Nutritional Benefits of Nose-Picking" (a must-read for any aspiring culinary artist) — to name a few.

Let's not forget "How to Make Your Mother a Porn Star" and "Perfecting the Art of Fart Projection."

I like it. Michelle and Brian need a website!

What About Brian?....BRIAN! What About Joey?

2006-10-10T19:36:00.000-04:00

I so rarely get involved with matters of television, but hear me out on this one. I usually have stellar ideas on how to fix wayward shows (Saturday Night Live, Ally McBeal, Friends, and don't even get me started on Lost). Anywho, so have we heard of the cheesefest What About Brian? I didnt think so. Seeing how it stands to be cancelled in about T minus 2 weeks. I haven't seen it either, of course. But I am sure it is as not-cute and as hellishly enfuriating as a pile of cats. So, how am I devising we fix What About Bri? Brian needs to be gay. Now, I am not one of those types who needs "the gay" in every piece of entertainment. In fact, more often than not I think the token gay is usually forced and annoying (see the ridiculous (but occasionally delicious) gay subliminal subplot regarding Julian McMahon on Nip/Tuck).

So, Brian needs to be gay. Look at his hair. Not a huge leap. And his love interest? None other than Joey Lawrence. It fits, right? Come on. If he doesn't speak, Blossom's brother is good-looking? Or am I just in a cheesey 29year old funk? Would Joey ever ask me to dance? In his oh-so-tight pants! Oh well. Not gonna happen. What About B? will be cancelled.

Told you so, Brianne.

29 is the new 18...It's true. 2 people told me that... independent of one another.

2006-09-29T18:48:00.000-04:00

So our dear Kettle turned 29 this week. Don't get excited. I was relatively underwhelmed myself, not to mention the early stages of the flu were upon me. But I am 29, less than a year til I am 30. So I guess it is now or never, right? Wasn't that the theme for my year once I turned 27?

Things I hope to do this year (Let's not call these goals. Instead, let's think of them as pipedreams.):

10. Get rid of my gas-guzzling, yet jockish, pick-up truck.
9. Pay off my Macy*s bill.
8. Read The House of Sand and Fog or A Confederacy of Dunces. Ideally both. The two have alternated as the book I will read next for about 5 years now.
7. Go away for Spring Break.
6. Hang some things on my walls and get the plates over my electrical outlets and light switches.
5. Have a magical Christmas.
4. Do something with the brilliant play I wrote. Nothing extreme. But something.
3. Think more positively. (Whoa, who wrote that?)
2. Join a club? Maybe start a hobby?
1. Learn to sleep.

Did I miss anything?

Confessions of a middle-aged drama queen

2006-09-18T12:36:00.000-04:00

Jim McGreevey's big day is tomorrow . . . his little-anticipated book, The Confession, hits stores and his appearance on Oprah airs. But even with all the publicity over the last few weeks, from bloggers, to newspapers, to magazines, and his scheduled appearance on the Today Show and The View over the next few days, we're not so sure the book is going to climb to the top of the best sellers list.

We may be wrong. Maybe a lot of middle-aged middle-American housewives will be desparate to read about Jim's sex dates while his wife (a/k/a his beard) was in the hospital having just given birth to their love child. Or maybe they'll prefer to buy the audio version of the book, and listen to McGreevey tell of his closeted trysts in his own sexy voice.

In any event, the Kettle and me are still waiting for McG to hang with us poolside at Paradise. Jim, call us, ok?

Survivor: Segregation Island. It's Almost Enough To Make Me Start Watching....Almost.

2006-09-16T13:28:00.000-04:00

If you aren't living under a rock, I am sure you have heard of the new Survivor gimmick: racial divisions of the castaways. Yawn.... Or so I thought! When I got the rundown from Mrs. O. the next day, I began to see that this might be fodder for some excellent jokes. For example, when the African-American tribe was building their shelters, they were going on how this would be the ghetto side of the island. Ha! And even better, apparently their is an Asian man, who loves making Asian jokes and said to his fellow Asians, "Hey, I bet we are happy we have all this rice!"

Apparently, a secretary at school summed up the final challenge as thus: "They had to solve puzzles for the final challenge, and the Asians won. Puzzles and Asians. That makes sense. And the blacks lost. I am not saying anything, but I'm just saying..."

Still, CBS is pulling this stunt b/c they are scared. NBC unleashes a very anticipated premiere night of My Name is Earl (JOY!) and The Office (PAM!) this week. Not to mention, the highly buzzed Ugly Betty.

America, stop watching Reality TV, please.

Wonka Bars, Wonka Day!

2006-09-13T20:16:00.000-04:00

In honor of what would have been Roald Dahl's 90th Birthday, England is celebrating Roald Dahl Day today! As you know, Roald Dahl is the author of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, Charlie and the Great Glass Elevator, and a slew of wonderful and creepy short stories. I recommend the one about the old woman who kills her husband with a leg of frozen lamb, "Lamb to the Slaughter" and also the one about the woman who jumps off a cruise ship, and waves to some man on the deck while she does, and the man can't really function after that. The name escapes me. I also can't find my copy of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, the book, because in case you haven't heard, my bookshelf is slowly collapsing. The only precaution I have taken is to clear off some of the shelves. So because I can't find the book, I will give you my favorite quotes from the movie. The original of course.

10. Wonka: A little nonsense now and then is cherished by the wisest men.
9. Veruca: You're always making things difficult!
8. Wonka: All questions must be asked in the form of writing.
7. Mr. Beauregarde: Just look what happened to that August kid
6. Mr. Beauregarde: Violet, you're turning violet, Violet.
5. Mr. Salt:What is this? Some kind of funhouse?
Willy: Why? Are you having fun?
4. Mike TV: Dad says I can't have a real gun til I'm older. Right, pop?
Mr. TV: Not til you're 12, son.
3. Wonka: Candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker.
2. Veruca: Snozberries? Who ever heard of a snozberry!!?!?
1. Mrs. TV: Where did they come from?
Wonka: Loompaland
Mrs. TV: There's no such place!
Wonka: Sure, there is!
Mrs. TV: Mr. Wonka, I am a teacher of geography...
Wonka: Then you know all about it.

The funniest weather girl ever!

2006-09-11T22:03:00.000-04:00

Calm down, Mary, its just a bug.

[Kenneth]

Flushing and Agassi

2006-08-26T22:33:00.000-04:00

Ok, loyal reader, you know how bad I am at predicting anything, but it is the process that is fun, right? US OPEN '06 brings us the last hurrah of Andre, and although it pains me to admit, possibly the last we will see of Dav. I say she is 50/50 for next year. Anyway, back to Andre. He will sorely be missed as he is 1000 times more likable than Sampras. I wish him well in retirement, and maybe he will stop shaving for a bit. His children are adorable. His wife is fabulous. Even his acid-washed denim shorts were kinda fun. He donates more money to charity than any other professional athlete. Now if only he would open his mouth a tickle more when he speaks. Hello, lock-jaw? He is possibly most responsible for making tennis the spectator sport it is. He made it fun. AND COOL! Thanks, Andre. Unfortunately, I see him going out in Rd 2. to Baghdatis, who in case you haven't heard, is from Cyprus. Ok, here's what I am seeing:

Men: Some interesting matches; ultimately all Federer.
Top quarter: Rog will cruise. (5)Blake will fall.
Quarterfinal: (1)Federer vs. (23)Tursunov

2nd quarter: Total hotness here, and this doesn't even include the Nadal/Philippoussis first rounder! Marat Safin and Robert Kendrick (both unseeded), Ginepri (18), and Tommy Haas (14). Oh to be the ball boy here. Top seeds here are Davydenko(7) and Nalbandian(4). I couldn't pick them out of a lineup of 2.
Quarterfinal: (14)Haas vs. (17)Andy Murray

3rd quarter: Hopefully an excellent Round of 16 match of Baghy(8) and Roddick(9). I will go with Roddick. Everyone is saying he is back, which makes me want him to lose ASAP. I just don't know. If only he wasn't so popular and every girl didn't want him :-(
Quarterfinal: (9)Roddick vs. (3)Ljubicic. Yes the #3 player in the world is named Ivan Ljubicic.

4th quarter: We so want unseeded and wild card Philippousis to beat Nadal. Unfortunately, that won't happen.
Quarterfinal: (2)Nadal vs (19)Hrbaty

Semis: Federer vs. Haas; Nadal vs. Ljubicic
Finals: Federer vs. Ljubicic
Winner: Federer

**********************************************

The WOMEN! God knows what is going to happen here. (1)Mauresmo, (10)Dav, (5)Petrova, unseeded Serena, even (2)JHH are kinda shaky. Altho if anyone can pull through that it is JHH. Serena too. Hingis has come back and has proven she still cannot beat anyone who is healthy and powerful. (4)Elena Mc-NoServe Dementieva, (6)Kutzy, (11)Myskina, and (7)Schnyder will forever be non-entities at a Slam, unfortunately. Which leaves us with #3 Sharapova and the horde of hot, young Eastern European gals all vying to be the next her: (9)Nicole Vaidisova, (12)Dinara Safina, (15)Anna-Lena Groenefeld, (16)Ana Ivanovic, (19)Jelena Jankovic, and (27)Tatiana Golovin.

Top Quarter: Toughest little top section includes Mauresmo, Serena, and Ivanovic. Hingis should cruise to the quarter from the bottom up. Hard to know if Serena or Amelie will be in any kind of shape to do well. I think not.
Quarterfinal: (8)Hingis vs. (16)Ivanovic

2nd Quarter: Sadly my gal Nadia has sucked it up since April. Sharapova had a great summer until she lost, citing exhaustion. If she has rested and JHH remains shaky, this is honestly her best shot to get another slam. All the top players are weak right now, and at least in slams, she never loses to those ranked below her. The French Open excluded.
Quarterfinal: (3)Sharapova vs. (27)Golovin

3rd Quarter: My new favorite player is Samantha Stosur, Australia. She is unseeded, but has a huge game. I am going with her to break out here. Top seeds here are Dementieva(4) and Kutzy(6). I can't root for them, although most times off the ground - serve excluded - Dementieva is fierce.
Quarterfinal: Stosur vs (9) Vaidisova

4th Quarter: Praying Dav is well enough to play well. Who knows; it will be day by day early in the first week. If she can't get it together, Schnyder will take her out in Round of 16. If her injury is legit, she may not even make it that far. Still, I have to go with her.
Quarterfinal: (2)JHH vs (10)Dav

Semis: Ivanovic vs. Sharapova; Vaidisova vs JHH
Final: Sharapova vs. JHH
Winner: Sharapova

I reserve the right to be embarrassingly wrong here. And if anyone can take out JHH, by all means.

Celebrity Death Match

2006-08-25T14:44:00.000-04:00

Celeb news is currently rocking my world. That's right. I think that is the first time I have ever used that phrase, but it felt so right. Tom Cruise is getting canned. Mel Gibson is currently making phone calls of apologies to all the high powered Jews. (What about the second tier Jews, Mel??? Where do you draw the line?) And just when we thought it couldn't get any better, William H. Macy declares he has a hankering to kick some ass. Whose ass? None other than Lindsay Lohan's. YES!

IMDB reports: Veteran actor William H. Macy has blasted co-star Lindsay Lohan for her behavior while filming the movie Bobby, insisting she "should have her ass kicked." The star shared scenes with the 20-year-old actress in the film and admires her talent, but not her manners. He said, "You can't show up late. It's very, very disrespectful." Lohan was blasted in a letter last month from the Ceo of Morgan Creek Productions for her absences on set of her new film Georgia Rule, who called her behavior that of "a spoiled child." He explains, "I think what an actor has to realize (is that) when you show up an hour late, 150 people have been scrambling to cover for you. It's nothing but disrespect. And Lindsay Lohan is not the only one. A lot of actors show up late as if they're God's gift to the film. It's inexcusable, and they should have their asses kicked."

Don't mess.

So, is America in agreement that Li-Lo has officially outtrashed Tara Reid?
Maybe a Pot 'n Kettle poll?

There Is No Way Brad Garrett or Doris Roberts Can Win!

2006-08-24T00:28:00.000-04:00

Emmys '06. I am scared. I still don't understand the new nomination process. I love Stockard Channing as much as....well, more than anyone who might even know who she is, but say it with me Bluth fans, "Her?" There may be some new faces as noms but I am seeing a lot of tired old wins. Oh well. Surprisingly, I am so psyched for Conan. And like the last time he hosted, I am anticipating him to steal the show. And thank g-d for that! For some reason Barry Manilow is performing. I still have no idea why. But again, I am scared. And I even kinda like him, again scary, but there is no need for musical numbers at the Emmys ever. Yes ever. OK, so The Pot won't get mad at me for a long post, let's cut to the chase.

Nominees on the left; Picks on the right, in red
Supporting Actor/Comedy

Will Arnett/AD...................Rootin 4: GOB, duh
Jeremy Piven/Entourage.........Gainst: Cryer
Bryan Cranston/Malcolm.........Poss. Spoiler: Piven
Jon Cryer/2.5Men.................Winner: Sean
Sean Hayes/W&G..................More Bluth Love needed.

Supporting Actress/Comedy
Cheryl Hines/Curb.................Rootin 4: Jaime
Alfre Woodard/DH.................Gainst: CHERYL!
Jaime Pressly/Earl.................Spoiler: Anyone but Cheryl, honestly
Elizabeth Perkins/Weeds..........Winner: Megan
Megan Mullally/W&G...............Lucille is rolling in her grave. Next year, Pam

Lead Actor/Comedy
Larry David/Curb..................Rootin 4: Steve
Kevin James/King o’ Queens......Gainst: Charlie
Tony Shalhoub/Monk..............Spoiler: Shalhoub
Steve Carell /Office................Winner: Steve
Charlie Sheen/2.5Men...............Nervous about Monk. Should be Jason B.’s!!!

Lead Actress/Comedy
Lisa Kudrow/Comeback..............Rootin 4: Kudrow
Jane Kaczmarek/Malcolm............Gainst: Debra
Julia Louis-Dreyfus/Old Christine....Spoiler: Jane
Stockard Channing/Out of P...........Winner: Kudrow
Debra Messing/W&G....................Kudrow’s last laugh. Miss Marcia Cross.

Supporting Actor/Drama
William Shatner/Boston Legal........Rootin 4: Imperioli
Oliver Platt/Huff.....................Gainst: Shatner
Michael Imperioli/Sopranos...........Spoiler: No Idea
Gregory Itzin/24........................Winner: Alda
Alan Alda/West Wing..................COULDN’T CARE LESS

Supporting Actress/Drama
Candice Bergen/Boston Legal..........Rootin 4: Candice
Sandra Oh/Grey’s.......................Gainst: Blythe, ick
Chandra Wilson/Grey’s.................Spoiler: Jean
Blythe Danner/Huff......................Winner: Oh
Jean Smart/24.............................No clue. I like Claire Fisher.

Lead Actor/Drama
Christopher Meloni/Law and O.....Rootin 4: NATE! Aww
Denis Leary/Rescue Me..............Gainst: Martin
Peter Krause/6FU.....................Spoiler: Keifer
Kiefer Sutherland/24.................Winner: Martin
Martin Sheen/West Wing............Meloni is hot. Why can I envision a Leary surprise?

Lead Actress/Drama
Kyra Sedgwick/Closer...................Rootin 4: RUTH!
Geena Davis/Commander................Gainst: Allison
Mariska Hargitay/Law and O............Spoiler: Kyra
Frances Conroy/6FU......................Winner: Allison
Allison Janney as C.J. Cregg.............Edie Falco should be here to f*%! Janney up.

Comedy Series
Arrested Development..............Rootin 4: AD!
Curb Your Enthusiasm...............Gainst: Two and a Half
The Office...........................Spoiler: AD
Scrubs................................Winner: Office
Two And A Half Men.................Still glad no DH!!! AD was/is the best show ever.

Drama Series
Grey’s Anatomy.................Rootin 4: House
House............................Gainst: West Wing
The Sopranos....................Spoiler: Grey’s
24..................................Winner: West Wing
The West Wing..................Honestly, I have never seen a single episode of any of em.

Sunday, August 27 8pm
Is it bad I feel I good about these picks?

Oh, and US Open predictions soon. I hate myself.

Congratulations, You Angry Inch!

2006-08-22T00:11:00.000-04:00

And the nominees were:
Outstanding Guest Actor In A Comedy Series
Patrick Stewart as Himself. EXTRAS
Ben Stiller as Himself. EXTRAS
Martin Sheen as Harvey.
Two and a Half Men
Alec Baldwin as Malcolm.
Will & Grace
Leslie Jordan as Beverley Leslie. Will & Grace

When the noms first came out, this was my summation of the list:
"Alec Baldwin is gross. Beverley Leslie is the first W&G guest nominee I have ever supported. Ever. He kills me. Good for him."

And the winner is... I mean, the Emmy goes to...

Well, well, well, if it isn't Beverley Leslie!

Full Emmy predictions later this week. I am sure no one can wait.

Shut Up, Bitch

2006-08-21T17:12:00.000-04:00

What a fun news story this is: A Sunday School teacher was fired because she is a woman. Apparently Reverend Timothy LaBouf (undoubtedly gay) is sticking to the first epistle to Timothy, which says, "I do not permit a woman to teach or to have authority over a man; she must be silent." 1 Timothy 2:12

Poor gal, and she had been a teacher for 54 years!

Still it does remind me of one of my favorite Tiny Fey jokes ever:

Tina Fey: In her 130th day aboard the international space station, American astronaut Peggy Whitson said that her tastes have changed while in space, and she no longer wants the forty shrimp meals she brought along. Hey, Peggy? Do you want them to keep letting women be astronauts? Yeah? Shut up, and eat the shrimp!

So I am happy.

Actually, it's not like Communism

2006-08-18T02:02:00.000-04:00

So this post is way overdue. I have been back from Russia for like years now. But the fact that I haven't been sleeping well is my only excuse. I would like to thank the otherwise annoying A.Z. for providing me with the title to this post. I was surprised how un-Communist Russia was, except for the line of old women who stood outside the grocery store near my hotel in St. Petersburg, begging for people to buy their gnarly flowers or turnips or something. That was early into my Russian stay, however, before I fell in love with the babushka, which is more than just the shawl old ladies wear over their heads, Americans! The babushka actually is the old lady. And she is awesome.

So the Pot made fun of my lists while I was gone? Here's a list...

Top Things I Learned in Russia
1. Don't go by yourself.
2. Don't go by yourself if you don't speak a word of Russian.
3. The Cyrillic alphabet needs to dropped, forgotten, and written off as a faux pas of the Dark Ages because it is the worst thing EVER!
4. Tipping? I still don't have a clue.
5. Any woman over the age of 50 should rock the babushka (the shawl). This occured to me before I realized what babuska actually meant, but you get it.
6. Have nothing to do with the tap water.
7. Ditto the toilet paper.
8. Even if you can't communicate with your cab driver at all, have some basic agreement and understanding of the correct airport where he needs to deposit you.
9. Flirting is a universal language. Use it to your advantage at all costs!
10. The two-part episode of Head of the Class, where the gang from the IHP went to the then Soviet Union, was really such a breakthrough in diplomacy.
11. CCCP = USSR. I honestly had no idea.
12. Russian men are frightening and mean.
13. Don't forget your papers anywhere because if you do....
14. It really does all come back to Animal Farm. I had been saying this in my own life forever. I am so glad it is actually applicable somewhere.

(and one from Prague: Ordering simply "a beer" and everyone understands what brand you are getting is such a beautiful thing!)

Welcome Home, Me!

A 17th minute?

2006-08-14T12:49:00.000-04:00

We're working overtime here to keep up to date on all things McGreevey!

As soon as we finished our post about the fading interest in Jim's book among Garden Staters, we noticed that Jimbo is looking to Joan Rivers and Bravo for his next gig. From Page Six:

Jim ("I am a gay American") McGreevey might have a new job soon - as one of the homosexual hosts on the talk show Joan Rivers is launching this fall on Bravo that's described as a queer version of "The View." Rivers is hiring three male co-hosts. After auditioning dozens, she's said to have eliminated all but the final 10, one of whom is the former New Jersey governor. Rivers was overheard telling an associate, "I am mad about the ex-governor. I am dancing down the streets."

Joan, can we talk? What gives, girl? No disrespecting the gay ex-gov, but come on . . . a TV host she's not.

Please, can we turn our attention back to Lance Bass's boyfriend or shirtless pics of Jared Leto?

NJ to Jim: We're SO over you!

2006-08-13T13:36:00.000-04:00

Is Jim McGreevey's 16th minute of fame just about over?

No one knows for sure exactly when he'll drop off the radar, but it seems from a new poll out of Monmouth University that his former constiuents think it should have already happened:

Perhaps New Jerseyans already know too much about Jim McGreevey, who two years ago declared himself "a gay American" and announced he would resign as governor.

Or maybe they just don't care.

Either way, when it comes to McGreevey's tell-all book, The Confession, a new poll indicates that few state residents will be buying when it is released Sept. 19.

In the Monmouth University poll, released yesterday, 79 percent reported "absolutely no interest" in reading the 384-page memoir. Merely 5 percent reported "a lot of interest," and 14 percent a "little interest."

So who are the 5% that are very interested? According to David Rebovich, a political science professor at Rider University in Lawrenceville, New Jersey, its anyone involved in New Jersey politics. Why? Rebovich says "I think they're mostly hoping their names aren't in the index."

We here at the Pot and Kettle don't yet know how we feel about the public's fading interest in Jim. On the one hand, McGreevey, even two years after his resignation, is good fodder for blogging and the release of his book and publication of his Garden State Parkway rest stop trysts will certainly lead to at least a little chit-chat pre- and post-Oprah. Plus, we are still waiting to be invited to a pool party and to meet his new beau, Mark O'Donnell!

On the other hand, its time for the gay-American ex-governor to slip back into society and let us all move on to discuss more important things. Like how f**king hot Lance Bass's boyfriend is.

And Then One Time....At Yearbook Camp

2006-08-10T22:42:00.000-04:00

the kettle went to yearbook camp! it wasn't really as dorky as it sounds. at least i don't think so. but then again, i can be kinda dorky myself, and maybe i wouldn't have noticed.

Here are some fun things I learned:
1. I would really enjoy getting into graphic design. Maybe if i hadn't been called by education, that would be my lucrative career.
2. Hot baseball/football coachy looking people from an all boy's schools in Long Island are wonderful. Too bad they are just coming back from their honeymoons. Grrrrr!
3. The wonderful t-shirts i used to design are excellent yearbook prep. Really.
4. I am horrendous - HORRENDOUS! - with paperwork and budgets. In fact, they scare me.

Lance's slice of beefcake

2006-08-01T12:26:00.000-04:00

I'll admit that there is something about Lance Bass that I find unexplainably attractive. Not so much in his Boy Band stage, but I think grown-up Lance is somewhat cute (especially with the facial scruff in the picture on the cover of his "I'm Gay" People magazine spread).

With that said, and with all due respect Lance, how the f**k did you land Reichen Lehmkuhl (pictured here)? Lehmkuhl, the Air Force pilot turned reality TV star (Amazing Race) turned gay activist is on a field of play only few in the gay world can ever aspire to play on. I guess Lance somehow got picked for that team, albeit probably the last to get chosen, after the hot lesbian.

Anyways, maybe Reichen -- who is trying to become a star of some sort in his own right -- is working his way to the Hollywood A-list by making his way through the D, C and B list first. Should I be so cynical? Maybe they really are interested in each other? Maybe its love?

Or maybe Reichen is just looking to sell some books. If that is the case, I hope Lance dumps him ASAP. Just have one last romp in the bedroom first, ok?

It's NOT the last time you'll see these!

2006-07-30T13:06:00.000-04:00

Breaking entertainment news just hit my desktop. The Kettle will be giggly when he returns home to see that the television show he loves so deeply -- Arrested Development -- is going into syndication. On the Internet:

News Corp.'s Fox Entertainment Group Inc. said Wednesday that it had sold the syndication rights to its quirky-but-canceled sitcom, "Arrested Development" to Microsoft Corp.'s MSN Internet portal.

The three-year deal marks the first time that a major Hollywood production studio has turned to the Internet for a bona-fide buyer of syndicated shows. Until now, studios have sold their reruns of shows such as "Seinfeld" or "Friends" to TV station groups and cable channels, reaping huge profits in the process.

So for those of you too cheap to buy the DVDs or sign up for Netflix, you can still get your fix of Arrested Development through Microsoft's free streams of the shows (which will include advertisements).

Dopey doping

2006-07-28T15:54:00.000-04:00

I was quick to congratulate Floyd Landris for winning this year's Tour de France, but now his win has come under a cloud with new accusations of doping. No one in the public knows if Landris was the doper, and God knows the doping allegations against Americans are about as true as Bill Clinton's statement that he didn't get a blow job from Monica Lewinsky, and there is much press out there now that the unidentified doping cyclist is not an American, but I wanted to be on the record, and I think the Kettle will agree, in saying that doping is bad, mkay. If you dope, then you are bad. So don't be bad by doping, mkay?

In any event, I think they should test the dopers and send the doping results on to the International Court of Sport for a hearing. Its the only solution.